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Post by MiNTY♥ on Mar 4, 2009 11:50:32 GMT -5
There's nothing I could say to you
Nothing I could ever do to make you see
What you mean to me
All the pain, the tears I cried
Still you never said goodbye and now I know
How far you'd go
I know I let you down but it's not like that now
This time ill never let you go
Every muscle in her tender and broken body tensed and he head snapped up. It was hard to resist the temptation that told her to kill him now, let him have his wish, but she stayed frozen where she was. Her teal orbs burned as she glared at Darkfog. Her pupils had never before been such tiny slits before in all the time she had been breathing. Then something inside her just seemed to snap, break in two, shatter.
"Oh I don't know, do I care? Why do I care about anything you do? Why do I care that you tried to kill yourself? Or oh, why do I care that you are away playing happy family's with Abyssbird? Why do I care whenever you were hurt of upset? Why, oh why, Darkfog, did I ever care about you? Do you think I go around looking for suicidal toms just for the sake of it Darkfog? Really, be reasonable. Do you think you were just the first tom I ever set my eyes on? You know. Did you ever even consider the fact that I cared?"
She spoke all this in a very sarcastic tone, exaggerating on many of the words. By this point she was on her paws pacing, and glaring meaningfully at Darkfog. Then she stopped and faced the wall, away from him. Her heart was thudding and her head was hot with anger. She let out a low growl through bared teeth to try and calm her nerves. But she still felt as though she could smash her paw into his skull, though she knew that as soon as she lifted her paw it would fall to her side again. She wouldn't be able to do it. Then she looked over her shoulder at him, trying to catch his eye, but gave up in the end.
"Because I love you."
She just managed to choke out the rest of the words as her voice broke, and she went to sit in the shadows on her own.
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Post by raid on Mar 4, 2009 17:20:50 GMT -5
Darkfog couldn't help but look at the ground. Knowing each word she said was digging into his heart and revealing the cold truth he had denied all along. He loved the damned she-cat that stood in his presence....and there was nothing he could do about it. Her last words finished him off and he couldn't help but know that he had gone wrong. That he had screwed up two lives, three lives, four or five. Finally mustering up the courage to speak he let his eyes find her pelt. The familiar shape and outline. The familiar smell lingering over the blood from his own.
"Serenewinter...I didn't mean for things to happen like this. Despite what this, everything, looks like...I loved you. I still do. I've thought about your return, doubted it...and looked for comfort. I didn't expect it to come through like this. With Abyssbird having kits and me the father. Serenewinter, I'd much rather you be having them..."
Sighing he knew he probably sounded like a liar. Though his voice was sorrowful. And for once serious. He didn't sound like he was full of bullshit though Serenewinter was sure to think of that. She should think of that. Shifting he pushed himself to his paws. A struggle but one he would make. He needed to get to Serenewinter. To really apologize. Grunting as he found himself beside her he tried to look up into her eyes, finding himself weakening and on the ground.
((okay so no broken bones. And slightly exaggerated but I needed to for the post to work....))
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Post by MiNTY♥ on Mar 4, 2009 17:51:32 GMT -5
At first his words felt like more back stabbing lies, which made her angry despite how weak and helpless and exposed she felt after practically pouring her heart out, well not exactly. If she was doing that Darkfog's ears would end up burning until he begged her to stop with her heart filled rant. Of course she wouldn't do that, she did not have the confidence. "Yeah of course it wasn't supposed to end out like this." She snapped and let the silence surround them. Before long she could tell he was lying, weak, at her paws. A lump in her throat somehow made it harder for her to breathe properly. A few wet tears rolled down her soft white fur before she finally considered speaking again. "Its so hard." She sobbed flopping to the ground and burying her face at his paws. "To come back to something you thought you knew, but really you have no idea. You aren't even the same. Nothing is. It just feels like everyone is against me. Like even though I came back because this was always where I belonged, that I still have to prove myself all over again. That nobody believes in me or trusts me or wants me to be around." She sobbed softly. She felt so lost, like she was only holding herself together like a thread. When she looked up her watery teal eyes seemed to find Darkfog through the darkness. She didn't know what she wanted, but she wanted to stop sobbing like an idiot.
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Post by raid on Mar 5, 2009 17:07:51 GMT -5
He didn't know what to think. Her first words were lashed out and he didn't know what to think of it. The silence was comfortable though. At least this was something he was used to. Silence was something he almost spent his life around. In a way it was his best friend. But then she started in. Talking. And the words were more than words. And he actually found himself listening. Found himself caring. Found himself...feeling the same way. And then was she...sobbing? Soft but it was there. He didn't know what to say and for a moment there was silence once more. "Serenewinter....I'm not the same because you were gone. Maliceclan took you away,......and....and I lost myself." His voice was soft. Meaningful. And he looked up, trying to meet her eyes. The pain he was feeling now was not from the wounds that were now caked with his blood. No that was not the painful part. The pain was coming from his heart....the one place he shouldn't feel.
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Post by MiNTY♥ on Mar 5, 2009 17:35:27 GMT -5
Serenewinter sniffed softly. "I didn't want to go, I didn't want them to take me, I had no choice, I was scared....for my life." She whispered. "Then when I could, I came back, and to realize that you were with her..." She trailed off. Abyssbird. It was almost though they had shared her as an apprentice. Darkfog would never have trained her on her own if it wasn't for Serenewinter being so persistent and giving him a push in the right direction. She felt so betrayed, by both of them, this wasn't just all Abyssbird's fault, but there was a difference between the two. She loved Darkfog and it would tear her to stay away from him. Abyssbird was just his apprentice who had become her friend, maybe she could still be, but Abyssbird would probably hate her for returning and ruining things. She gulped. Everything was so messed up now. "We need to figure out what to do, we can't just leave things a mess." She meowed meeting his eyes.
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Post by raid on Mar 7, 2009 8:48:43 GMT -5
He didn't know what to say. He was quiet and silence was engulfing his soul. He would love to just drift out of everything and go away from the whole thing. Of course that might not be hard for if he could just get out of camp another throw off the cliff would easily spiral him downward into the pits of death. But as great as that sounded he knew that Serenewinter's final words were completely right. "But how Serenewinter? How?" His words were soft. He knew they needed to straighten the damned mess out but what they needed was somebody who could tell them how.
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Post by MiNTY♥ on Mar 7, 2009 18:05:26 GMT -5
Serenewinter opened her maw and let out a soft sigh, the warm air floating upwards until it diffused with the stale air in the den and was no longer noticable. She did this a few times before she brought herself to look at Darkfog again. It was his decision. It was also mainly his mess to fix, but she felt she could not leave him out on his own to deal with this, yet in another way it would be good for him to learn to do things on his own. She sniffed and brushed away her tears with a paw. For a moment she just sat there, watching Darkfog. "I would be grateful for any kindness you chose to offer me, but as the mother of your kits Abyssbird has more right to you than I do, and so this would have to be your decision to make, however much I wish to sway you in one direction. Should you decide to honor me, then I would be only too happy to return to how things were before, yet somehow I know it will almost always be difficult to return to then, although if Abyssbird knew what you had tried to do, she may not even want your company." She meowed softly. It was all so complicated. She wanted to stand by Darkfog and support him as always, but she wasn't sure she could, or she should in a situation like this. Even above after all he had done, she loved him, yet she did not love Shard, she would never ever love Shard. How could she explain to Darkfog what had happened? How could she just come right out and say it? "Oh just to let you know Darkfog Shard forced mated with me and I am expecting kits now." Like that would go down well. She began to search for something else to look at, feeling rather uncomfortable at the thought of telling him, at the thought of telling any cat. She let out a soft sob and her eyes stung as she held back on tears, something she seemed to be doing a lot of. Her life has been destroyed, and now she was trying to get it back again, but with kits out there, even if she wasn't keeping them, she knew it would never be the same. She would be surprised if any of them lived after the battering sher had gotten today off of two cats.
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Post by LYNX ♥ on Mar 7, 2009 19:46:48 GMT -5
Her lips moved, numbly if anything, to form the silent words that hung in the air like a raincloud. 'Sorry.' The sleek obsidian mother mouthed, staring at her paws with concentration rather than risking another hate-filled glance from Serenewinter. She sensed another presence within the nursery, and soon heard soft pawsteps as Serenewinter left. Finally, the tense air was let go as Flamingarrow curled up near her, three kits plopped at herbelly, and Lynxstar approached with two more. "Hi.." She mumbled sullenly, moving her clouded blue eyes to look over the other queen's kits, they were cousins to her own as well. Two fiery gingers, a sleek onyx one like herself, a calico, and a squirming tortoiseshell. Smiling lovingly, she stroked her own children with her tail tip, warmly looking up to finally meet Flamingarrow's pale green eyes. "Yes they do.. well the little girl does. Gloomkit here has sweet little flecks like his daddy, just opposite colors." She purred quietly. Wait.. Gloomkit? Was that the name this poor little tom would have to live with? Well... it's not like she could change it now. Inwardly shrugged, she looked once more at Flamingarrow's kits. Littlepaw and Stormwind weren't in camp anymore, and surely the newest queen needed the same herbs she had been fed. "I'm going to go get you some borage," She picked up Spellkit and Gloomkit by their scruffs and placed them at the ginger's belly. "Be right back, I'll grab something to eat too." The small black she-cat stood and shook out her pelt, cringing with pain while she did so. Slipping outside and into the chilled night air, Abyssbird let out a sigh, and trotted forward, darting into the medicine cat's den without hesitation, until she heard the voices and spun, utterly petrified. Teal-blue eyes widening as she recognized Darkfog and Serenewinter, both torn up and sorrow-faced, conpiring perhaps. Striken with fear, Abyssbird stumbled back a step, lip quivering. "I.." |
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Post by raid on Mar 14, 2009 16:00:59 GMT -5
Darkfog didn't know what to think. Here was Serenewinter pouring her heart out to him. She was the one he was supposed to be with. She was his age, she was wise, beautiful, the first she-cat he was really supposed to be with. Abyssbird was his apprentice, was...now his, mate? What could he call her? Was there any certain word for her when he considered Sernewinter more of a mate than Abyssbird? How could he even compare the two when they were completely different cats? He needed to go back, and make the right choices for now he was wounded, and in pain. Not only pain of his heart but all over his body. Looking up and catching Serenewinter's eye he found another voice entering his ear. It was the voice of Abyssbird. Looking over he found his eyes meeting hers. "Hello." He spoke weakly, his voice rough and harsh as he tried to clear his throat. It had to be quite a site. Darkfog messed up as he was and with Sernewinter.
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Post by LYNX ♥ on Mar 14, 2009 19:48:04 GMT -5
Deep breaths Abyssbird, deep breaths now. It's okay, really. Maybe not right now, but it will be. Remember, you screwed everything up. Take a hit and give up and it'll all be fine eventually. Gulping down air rapidly now, the she-cat was nearly speechless, except for the small squeak that tumbled from her silently babbling lips. "I... I'm so sorry-" The petite jet she-cat blinked her round teal-green eyes with a sigh, and went on. "You two... need to be together. I have the k-kits and they are all I need." Abyssbird mumbled, running her tailtip along her own flank, keep her weak gaze away from the two cats. "I don't know if you want to be a part of their li-" Another sigh. "I hope you guys are making up with each other." She meowed, and picked her way around them, then heading out into the night, squeezing her eyes shut in agony. Isn't this what you wanted Abyssbird? Yes it is. Turning, she let her paws slowly bring her back to Flamingarrow, dipping her ehad and taking her kits back, noticing that they had begun to squeak and squirm, maybe they would speak soon. Plopping down, she gave her final sigh and allowed her head to rest on small paws.
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Post by LYNX ♥ on Mar 14, 2009 19:50:45 GMT -5
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Post by raid on Mar 15, 2009 0:08:22 GMT -5
The small she-cat was unaware of the world she was growing up in and just how messed up it truly was. She wasn't aware that her parents were completely seperate, maybe she would grow up not knowing who her father was. That was either a good thing or a bad thing. She wasn't entirely sure what was to happen. For she wasn't sure what was happening now. Except for the fact that the smell around her wasn't her mothers...and then it was. So her mother had left her but now she was back. The little kit was Spellkit. A beautiful she-cat much like her mother. Her gray eyes were muddied, though they were open. She couldn't make out much of her surroundings. Though darkness and light was easily differed. Her mother was darkness, and darkness was comfort. At least for now. It would be until she could find the true beauty of things. Hearing the mewing of other kits she found her eye lids closing and opening quickly. She needed to figure out her surroundings. She wasn't quite sure where she was though she knew it was home. Curling up beside her mother her tiny sleek body squirmed as she tried to collect the most warmth she could. She was cold. Cold what was the meaning of cold. Definitely not warm. She had heard the word before, maybe it was her mother's voice or anothers. All she knew was that she had heard it many times before. "C..cwold" She mewed softly. It wasn't as if she was. She was just trying out something she had heard before. Curling and uncurling she moved closer to her mother once more. Her brother's furry pelt beside her was reassuring. This was home.
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Post by MiNTY♥ on Mar 15, 2009 5:39:13 GMT -5
She was intelligent. She was determined, but she was too soft. She was too soft just to step right up and claim what had been hers long ago. She closed her eyes for a moment, it was so quiet, only her breathing could be heard for a short while. Then the silence was broken by Darkfog, and soon after by Abyssbird stuttering and mumbling. Guilty. That she did feel, but why should she? Abyssbird had obviously not felt guilty about anything while she was away, about taking Darkfog from her, about having kits with him. She even felt sad about this, yet when Abyssbird left again she was only too glad. She hoped the kits would grow up soon, she could not be in the nursery with those two, well of course she would not be there, she would not be the one bringing her kits up. Delirium would. She looked up at Darkfog again. "I need to tell you something." She whispered.
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Post by lily ♫ on Mar 15, 2009 13:01:01 GMT -5
There was a faint tickle next to him, and he somehow knew it was his sister. She was squirming closer to their mother for warmth, and she wanted to be near him too. A squeak of protest trickled out of his mouth, but he knew Spellkit would not understand. Gloomkit let out a breath of air, sighing, as his mother had as she laid back down. Doing this, he felt funny, and let out another squeak. It was laughter, but it was disfigured. He squirmed a little closer to his mother and sister, and listened to their twin heartbeats.
Flamingarrow let out a titter as she heard Gloomkit mimic Abyssbird. "Abyssbird, what's wrong?" she murmured in a more soothing tone. Even though the obsidian beauty was older than the ginger she-cat, Flamingarrow knew she could handle trauma and depression better than Abyssbird could. She didn't really know why, but she knew it must have had something to do with the time she had spent in MaliceClan and had been treated so terribly. The young queen moved closer to the other queen, and cringed at the cries and tiny outbursts from her kits. "Quiet, little ones." she whispered to them. One of the carrot-colored toms was acting up by not holding still. She flicked him with her tail. "Now, Heatkit! Settle down." she said in a sharper tone. Her greem gaze locked onto the tiny little thing, and irritance was thick in it. |
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Post by raid on Mar 16, 2009 18:28:00 GMT -5
The tom sighed softly, watching Abyssbird go. But he was fine with it. In all reality he had no problem with her leaving. Her words were all that he needed to reassure him that his decision to be with Serenewinter was all the more right.As soon as Abyssbird left his eyes caught Serenewinter's and he smiled lightly. So this was all going as should. Finally something could go as it should in his life. Though he knew Lilythorn would have his life should she be allowed. But he hoped Lynxstar would not allow it. He was pretty sure that he would survive, and if he died it would be from his danged wounds. Suddenly the she-cat's voice rang in his ears and he watched her with interest. "You can tell me anything Serenewinter...you know that." He mewed softly, continuing on. "I'll always listen."
((TERRIBLE!))
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