{bright}VERTIGOCLAN CAMP{eyes}

[leafy]

<sup>l o s t d e s i r e

a heart, it was so fragile, like a rose. if handled roughly, it will break slowly, and painfully. slowly the rose will fall apart, until it is nothing, and so will the heart. then, all purpose of life is gone, for both.

it was reality now. for her. she had no purpose, no meaning to life. nothing was left. why did it happen again? she dragged her paws on the cold ground, and entered the warriors' den. northwind was there, but what did that matter. lostdesire felt like she'd cry, but she wouldn't let herself. crying is over-rated. it has no purpose anymore. instead, she settled away from everybody else and stared at an imaginary piece of dust on the ground in front of her. soon, it turned into a rose, a beautiful, radiant rose. petals started to fall off, only to shrivel up on the ground. she shivered, would this nightmare follow her everywhere. why did life have to be this hard? why couldn't it just end. why couldn't she end it? lostdesire considered this idea carefully, and eyed a circular formation of thorns on the den wall. it could just end right there. she edged towards it, until she was an inch away. was it worth it? yes. her skull moved towards it slowly.....</sup>

[lily ♫]

"Northwind, I just want to be friends. Why can't you even try...?" Emeraldfire mewed in a hurt voice. He sighed and looked around the den. Lostdesire! What was she doing? Why was she getting closer to the thorns?! Then it hit him. "Lostdesire, NO!" he screeched. He pushed her away from the thorns, furious she would want to take her own life. "If you did that, we'd be losing too many cats. If you go, Northwind goes, and not soon after that, Radianteclipse and me. Don't do it Lostdesire." he hissed under his breath. "We can't survive without the cats in our lives."

[/size]

[LYNX ♥]

Northwind sighed and ignored Emeraldfire. "Quit acting so hurt." He spat softly, gently stuffing his cold wet nose into Lostdesire's ear. If he could hear the faintest giggle from her, he'd never have to look at Radienteclipse again. Suddenly he knew why she was hear. It was because he was so damn screwed up. Backing away, Northwind knew Lostdesire would never laugh, not with him. He's just killed his whole life in one day. Failure. It wasn't what he was used to, but he should accept it. Maybe a few days without contact would do the trick. He pushed violently passed Emeraldfire, bounding past Radienteclipse, not bothering to wait to hear what happened that was so brilliant. Suddenly, it hit him like a wall, literally. Paws tripped up and he stumbled into a massive rock. He heard a crack from somewhere inside him. But it didn't matter. It was all coming together now.. the aching belly, Dawnfire, her sudden happiness, Emerald's peacemaking attempt. She was having his kits. Unusual if this were under any other circumstances, Northwind would have cheered loudly, but he couldn't. Instead, he rushed into the undergrowth and vomited, not to mention his paw was broken.

Whoever replied to this, do so in the TERRA.

[darkcloud]

Emberblade walked out into the open and took a deep slow breath. Taking everything in he strolled along with a smile in his eyes. Greysky rubbed her head along the side of Emberblade's face. Both in a perky mood they trotted around the kamp purring and flirting.

[LYNX ♥]

D: Lily our roleplay needs to be in the terra! Can I just move your post?

[leafy]

<sup>l o s t d e s i r e

so frail, like a ribbon, barely hanging on by a mere thread. any small action could cut its life short so easily.she sighed blissfully, it seemed now all her troubles could just end. it's all over now... she closed her eyes and prepared for the wonderful pain. LOSTDESIRE, NO! a loud, alarmed voice knocked her out of this wonderful trance. she blinked, and emraldfire had knocked her to the ground, now he was ranting on to her as if anyone cared about her. "excuse me, did you say someone cared for me?" lostdesire spat sarcastically, staring at the ground in front of her. quit acting so hurt. that voice, it was his voice. his cold nose rested in her ear momentarily before he trampled out to who knows where. she wanted to scream, to rant, to get it all out. im not acting! lostdesire thought furiously. she wanted to yell something. why did everyone she loved reject her? why? why did she have to be heartbroken? she was so confused, so angry, so mad, so deranged. something horrid was consuming lostdesire's brain. "why does everyone i love REJECT me?!?!?!?! ha, happy endings are a JOKE!" she screamed with desperation.</sup>

[lily ♫]

Emeraldfire stared at Lostdesire. She needed help. Mental help. He felt bad for her. "Lostdesire. You have to stop this. The Clan loves you, and we want to help you get better. You are going insane as if you've seen cats that walk with StarClan beside you. End this." he meowed.

[leafy]

<sup>ooc; lol, she so emo xD

l o s t d e s i r e

she listened to emraldfire's words, which should've made her at least a bit more sane. but, they didn't. she dug her claws into the ground and her shoulders sunk down. after a few moments, lostdesire whimpered ever so silently. it wasn't fair. "really? name three cats in this clan that care about me." she whispered, fury lacing her depressed tone. she was just so darn angry.</sup>

[lily ♫]

"Easy. Your friends. Northwind, Lilythorn, and me. If you died, it would affect us all. And, we affect the whole Clan. The Clan needs all it's cats, no matter who they are." Emeraldfire meowed, trying to beat even just a little bit of sense into the she-cat.

[leafy]

^{l o s t d e s i r efriends......friends? lilywind, emraldfire, and him. when emraldfire said northwind's name, she flinched. it was true, they were her friends, and they cared. it made sense. was sense real now? she blinked, and looked at emraldfire. he wasn't lying, he was being truthful, of course. why couldn't she see? why was she blind to everything around her? but northwind, did he really care about her? lostdesire didn't know. "i guess that's true." that's all she could choke out.}

[lily ♫]

Emeraldfire smiled weakly. "It is true, Losty." he meowed. "We do care. Now, can I trust you enough to be able to leave you alone for awhile without you attempting to throw yourself into a bush of thorns?" he mewed, with a slight laugh.

[leafy]

^{l o s t d e s i r eshe smiled, or arranged her face in attempts of a smile. "yeah, im going to back out." losty here wanted to talk to northwind, she had to. it just seemed like something she needed to do. lostdesire mewed a quick thank-you to emraldfire, and headed out to find northwind.losty back to terra}

[queenboo]

^{"All set." Featheredpaw just finished setting up Radianteclipse's nest. She made it nice and comfy for the mother-to-be. Featheredpaw went to tell Dawnfire that the bed was all set. She was about to tell Radianteclipse also but it was best if the little apprentice not to butt into many things.}

[MiNTY♥]

Radianteclipse wanted to say something to stop this, but she felt so tired, she could have just gone to sleep right there. Without saying anything she backed out of the den and went to see if her new nest in the nursery was ready. "Thank you Featheredpaw." She meowed, and dipped her head in thanks to the apprentices. She dragged her paws over to the nest and flopped down onto it. Leaning over she began to lick her belly with soft gentle licks. She was going to be a mother. Slowly her eyes began to close over as she began to sleep.

[queenboo]

^{As Radianteclipse dipped her head, Featheredpaw felt grateful. The appretince padded back to where Dawnfire was. "Are we running low on any herbs? I can help get some if we do," Featheredpaw meowed and waited for a response.}