iNSOMNiA ! {private}

[Dawn]

Voidstar's nest. Okay, not really his nest, but dangerously close to it. A breeze rustled through the uppermost branches of the unfamiliar tree, startling her so that her head snapped in his direction. The new camp- no, the stand-in camp, really- was small. Uncomfortably so. They had been lucky enough to find an old, hollowed out tree much like their beloved camp; however, it was far smaller. There was also one other problem- Shard had been forced to move out of the den he was keeping outside of camp, and he was now curled up somewhere below, possibly accompanied by the rogue he'd brought along with him. Dreamfeather cast a brief look of disgust downward, though the dry bark underpaw wasn't evident of the cats sleeping- or whatever else- below. In any case, she straightened up quite quickly, for fear that the leader might wake up and see. It wasn't unheard of, really, leaders and deputies sharing a den. Usually, of course, deputies slept with the warriors, but Tempestclan didn't really have set 'dens' so much as 'areas' and these weren't relevant to herself, as she was the second highest ranking cat in the clan. Therefore, she slept near the top of the tree, a ways below Voidstar. They'd never been far apart; sometimes, if it was really quiet, she could even hear his breathing at night, and it comforted her. Now she could definitely hear him- and it was not in the slightest placating. In the hollowed out branch they were sleeping in- together- there were patches of bark missing. Luckily, they were only from the top, not quite big enough to allow her to poke her head out and breathe in some fresh, non-Voidstar air. They were just large enough for sunlight, or in this case moonlight, to pour in. Awake and unable to sleep for a myriad of reasons, the main being the tom sleeping a fox length from her nose, the strange light was a comfort. It was a companion for her rampant insomnia. Dreamfeather sighed very quietly and laid her head down on her paws, gazing off in the leader's direction with drowsy blue eyes. It seemed wrong to be watching him sleeping, but there wasn't much else to do, at a time like this.

"All these nights are catching up to me
I just can't put insomnia to sleep

[/color]
I close my eyes but all that I can see
Is someone who I'm never gonna be"[/i][/color]

Her mind was occupied as always, whirring with thoughts, memories, daydreams, conversations. When was daylight coming? Judging by the amount of light, not very soon. Voidstar looked so comfortable, she thought, at ease in his sleep. What would happen if she scooted just a little bit closer, just a tiny bit, and curled up beside him? If she got up now and went for a night walk, heading out through a gap in the hollowed wood behind her, would he notice? Dreamfeather had a feeling he would. Somehow, he would sense she was gone, as Islandsplash had done a few times before. Perhaps she ought to just close her eyes and will sleep to come, again. It really wasn't all that weird, sharing a den with the tom. It's not like he feels that way about me. This caused another sigh. It was warm in here. The nights were slightly more humid lately, and she took this as a sign that newleaf was on its way. Another sign, of course, were the floods that had made chaos of Tempestclan territory, up to their camp, and forced this move, making prey scarce. It probably wouldn't be too long, and then they would be back home, she decided. A haze slowly covered her vision, and she blinked a film of tears away from her eyes, uncaused by sorrow. Dreamfeather yawned, and decided that perhaps she would rest her eyes, just for a short time.

"And if I fall and crash and burn
At least we both know that I tried[/color]
As I crawl that lesson's learned
It reminds me I'll survive"[/i][/color]

Eventually she was dreaming, not full dreams but flashes of dreams. Cats fighting, hissing and scratching, a furry gray warrior, a sinister black tom, a young, ambitious female, full of potential. More. Multiplying fast, suddenly the whole clan, engaged in war with thousands of cats. Then it was gone, and a vague scarlet colored female, faceless, was crouched over a litter of unfamiliar kits, a few gray, a few black, a couple tabbies. Another queen, silver in coloring, and flashes of pain, white hot light, flashing throughout. All gray kits, this time. Another flash of pain split the image visually, and rain poured down over the new scene she witnessed, the flash becoming lightning. Two cats, their pelts obscured by the poor weather, racing across the moorland, side by side. She strained her eyes to see them, tried to encourage her paws to chase them. Every now and then, they would seem to be closer, but then the lightning would flash and they'd be farther away, farther and farther. An overwhelming sense of loss spread over her; it always seemed to be too late, no matter how much she stretched her paws to reach them. No matter what Dreamfeather did, the two cats were going to disappear from view eventually, but that didn't stop her from chasing after them.

"Silence just keeps screaming back at me
The ones I love are lost in memories[/color]
And I wish that I could take back what was done
You can only change the person you've become"[/i][/color]

After a torturous while, the view was gone, and it was nighttime in a prosperous greenleaf, late in the season. Grasses brushed against each other, while crickets sang their night songs. She was staring at a pale tabby, while he spoke slowly, words unintelligible. Dreamfeather just continued to glare at him, the most coherent dream she had had so far, beginning to see who it was, beginning to make out the very thing she was witnessing. Then she was running, and he was running with her; they were running together over the moor. Trees grew upward, rapidly, until they raced through forestland, his pelt growing out long, brightening to an ember color. The cat, she was no longer able to make out if it was female or male now, appeared larger than her because of its fur and yet ran far faster. She wondered at that, as she wanted to run beside it again, almost desperately, but couldn't. Resigned, Dreamfeather fell back, and again her dreams melded into something new.

NOTES;[/color] this is set in the future, to be role played after some of the described events have happened. but when it does get played, time for voidy to have a nightmare and wake dreamy up on accident! COUNT;[/color] 1089 words TAGGED;[/color] minty
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[MiNTY♥]

hear us now, clear and true, wretches and kings we come for you

Absently he watched as apprentices dashed about the camp, disposing of the damp moss that made up the nests in the lower part of the tree. With new leaf came the thaw, and with so much ice melting the water was proving to be a bit of a problem. The dens closer to the ground in the tree had become cold and damp, unsuitable for his cats to live in especially the elders, kits and Ashenflight who had their dens lowest to the ground for easier access. Luckily his den sat high above all the others, mirroring his high ranking in the clan, so the dampness did not affect him but something had to be done. He had ordered cats to move to higher up in the tree, there were a few spare dens that they could move into but some cats would have to squish together and might not end up as comfortable as they had been in their initial den. He liked the fact that friends could sleep together and enemies were able to avoid each other, especially among the warriors, but for now they would have to bite their tongue and accept it gracefully like any good warrior should. Satisfied that the den situation had been sorted out and that everyone would have a warm place to sleep so they did not get sick he turned and entered his den.

The moss that greeted his paws upon entry caught him slightly off guard and he narrowed his eyes for a moment before he remembered that Dreamfeather would be sharing a den with him. For a moment there he thought Shard must have had the cheek to build a nest in his den, but with so much on his mind he was forgetting the simple facts. Happy that his den was still mostly his own, aside from a cat who fitted into the small circle of those he tolerated, Voidstar stepped neatly around the other nest and over to his own which sat at the back corner of the small den. Thankfully it was large enough for two cats to fit in comfortably, it would have been tight to fit three in and he wouldn’t have liked to try that since there would be no room for the next highest in ranking along with all her stinky herbs. Circling once, twice and then a third time he settled into his nest and put a paw over his eyes to block out the moonlight. Gradually he fell deeper into his sleep, not moving when he heard another cats paws close by as he assumed that it would be his deputy.

Yet to his surprise, light soon came flooding to his eyes and he was by a lake but it was not the lake he knew and lived by. This lake was dark, with deep murky waters and he stepped away as the waves tried to tickle his paws as they rose up the shore. It had been a long while since he had a dream; he had been so sure that Starclan had given up on contacting him and knew best to speak with Ashenflight. Looking to the sky he squinted, the moon was in the sky but it was far too bright to be the evening but the stars sparkled nonetheless. Mesmerized he stood gazing up at the sky very much at peace, frowning when the brightness began to fade and dark clouds began to roll across the sky and he was plunged into darkness. It started with soft rumbles like the belly of a hungry kit but quickly it built into deafening crashes and he turned and ran to the trees for thunder. As he did he felt wetness at his heels but it was not raining, alarmed he whipped around to see the shore just behind him even though he was under the shelter of the trees. He stood gazing into the water in confusion when everything began to grow darker and the last thing he felt was the spray of water on his face before the water came crashing over him. Choking he stood like a drowned rat in the middle of it all, his claws still able to grip the ground. Snapping to his senses his eyes widened and he scrambled to get away from the water, the mud holding him down. No matter how much the leader ran the water was right behind him, tugging him backwards until it pulled his legs from underneath him and he was dragged under by the mighty force of the current. Thus far he had not allowed himself to become frightened, after all it was only a dream, but as he kicked and thrashed to try and keep his head above the water his heart began to thud more rapidly. Water poured into his lungs and the tom was only able to gather enough strength to stick his face above the water for a few seconds, until his limbs gave in. He hissed and spat, trying forcefully to move the water sitting in his lung that was weighing him down with no success. A final wave crashed over him and he was pushed under, by at least a fox length. The sky was still visible, the occasional flash of thunder filling the whole forest, but he sunk lower. His lungs felt as though they were about to burst with the pressure. Yet he could not die, the pain tormented his ever nerve and he writhed and thrashed in every possible way, a bright light blinded him and pain felt as though it burst out of him, sending pieces of him flying out. Voidstar cried out, but suddenly realised that something was different; he could now hear himself. Soft moonlight filled his eyes as he choked on invisible water that stung his throat, and flailed at non-existent pain.

words// 980
notes// been a while since I wrote a post this long.

ANCK SU NAMUN OF CAUTION!

[Dawn]

"All these nights are catching up to me
I just can't put insomnia to sleep

[/color]
I close my eyes but all that I can see
Is someone who I'm never gonna be"[/i][/color]

Dreamfeather hissed, turned and faced her enemy. The cat growling at her was blurry, as though too far away, and yet it stood just a fox length from her. Confused, she tried to make out its coloring, a very deep, night black. Just as she thought she recognized it the cat took her distraction as a chance to lash out with its claws, slicing open her shoulder. Dreamfeather rolled and hissed, locked in battle, until she had it pinned, though it struggled madly, and she was going for the black cat's throat. A deep, guttural snarl emanated from its parted jaws and she was thrown off, feeling like she was flying far though she landed only a couple fox lengths away. She was ready to go back into battle, to turn and fight again, when she saw it. The cat- the creature- was no longer feline. It now was huge, bigger than any cat she'd ever seen, and it had come into focus. Its canine jaws lolled open, drool cascading outward over white crags of fangs. Horrified, Dreamfeather gave a yowl and turned to run, all the while feeling its hot breath on her hind legs, so close, ever nearer...

At last she awoke with a gasp, and took in the haze around her. Feelings of panic created a crevice in her chest while she tried to figure out where she was, why she wasn't in her den. At last she recalled what had happened, and regained her sight fully. It was then that her gleaming blue eyes took in Voidstar, twisting in his sleep, and she stared at him for a moment, mesmerized. Then he gave a terrible cry, unlike any she had ever heard from him, and she startled. "Voidstar!"[/color] In her own silly state of half-awake, she crouched low and edged nearer to him, brought her head down and nudged him with her nose. "It's okay, it's okay, it's just a dream..."[/color] Dreamfeather didn't know why, but she felt compelled to do this, even giving his shoulder a small lick of comfort. She nearly frightened again to see that his green eyes were, in fact, open, though he wasn't yet out of the clutches of his nightmare fully. Feeling embarassed and confused by her actions for the first time, the deputy stumbled backward and hoped he hadn't noted her closeness. "Er, Voidstar, are you alright?"[/color]

"Silence just keeps screaming back at me
The ones I love are lost in memories[/color]
And I wish that I could take back what was done
You can only change the person you've become"[/i][/color]

NOTES;[/color] short, there wasn't much for her to doooo. COUNT;[/color] 397 words TAGGED;[/color] minty
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[MiNTY♥]

hear us now, clear and true, wretches and kings we come for you

The air felt like claws raking down the bark of a tree as it was pulled down his throat, and then pushed out again. It took a moment for his vision to become clear again and for his pupils to adjust to the low light levels in the den. As he took a few deep breaths he felt a tongue rasping over his pelt and felt a little safer for a moment before it stopped. Moving his head up abruptly to look around he almost accidentally head butted Dreamfeather, not realising she had been so close, and jumped back suddenly. ”S-sorry.” He croaked, a little embarrassed he cleared his throat loudly and shook his head violently. However, when he shook his head it felt as though his ears were filled with fluid and he flopped onto his side, feeling a bit dizzy.

Closing his eyes and frowning he tried to compose himself a little but felt like this time it was just a bit too much effort. He trusted Dreamfeather enough to share a den with her; surely it wasn’t so bad that she saw him having a nightmare. It was unusual for him to have nightmares this bad, and he had a feeling that it had something to do with Starclan because Ashenflight was so busy. However, they should know him better than to spend time muddling over their prophecies and he would leave it up to his medicine cat since that was her job and she seemed to enjoy doing it. ”Not at this very moment, Dreamfeather.” He answered, not wanting himself to sound weak but knowing he couldn’t hide the very obvious truth from her since she would see that he was not.

”Just got a little caught off guard; it’s always harder to defend yourself in a dream than it is in reality.” He sighed gently. At least he hoped it would be easier to defend himself against the water than it had been in his dream, maybe with the dampness in the tree and this dream it was all starting to lead up to something. Alarm bells began to ring in his head at this thought, what if his whole clan drowned? What if Tempestclan became submerged under a bigger, deeper lake and there was nothing left of the clans but their skeletons. Opening his eyes he looked weary and watched Dreamfeather who sat across from him. This was why he didn’t like it when Starclan spoke to him.

ANCK SU NAMUN OF CAUTION!

[Dawn]

"All of the things that I tried to say, all of the words just got in the way."

[/sup]

^{"I close my eyes but all that I can see is someone who I'm never gonna be."}[/sup]

Taking another step away, Dreamfeather mumbled a few more apologies, her pelt burning. After the moment seemed to have passed, she straightened her spine greatly, fluffing up the fur on her shoulders and giving them a few swift licks in an attempt to regain her composure. Geez, when did I become such a moron? Frankly, she was extremely embarrassed by her actions. She'd behaved like a newborn kit, or maybe a newly made queen, or, well, something she didn't want to be. The feeling of it all weighed down on her and made her want to fidget, to cover her eyes with her paws and curl about herself into darkness. But she couldn't. She had to be the deputy, and retain her pride, and figure out what had just happened with Voidstar, regardless of her personal feelings. Definitely leaving the den tomorrow night, she thought, but then frowned. True she didn't want another incident like this to happen, but what if he had another dream, and she wasn't there? My presence did him a fat lot of good this time anyway, surely he won't miss me tomorrow... Dreamfeather made a mental note to assign herself to lead the moonhigh patrol. That would be a good excuse to get out of the den, which seemed to be becoming warmer and warmer. Normally it would have been cozy, but now it just seemed stuffy, and she forced herself to stay still, though she wanted to go racing out into the camp.

"Yeah, I know the feeling..." Dreamfeather agreed, straining to focus in on the leader, though it was hard to look at him with her lakewater blue eyes. "Was it a prophecy, or some kind of warning?" Dreamfeather asked this because it was her duty. She didn't put much stock in the uses of Starclan, or the pesky dreams they sent. Also, she was genuinely curious about what could have frightened Voidstar so greatly. She'd only seen him startled a few times before, and never so deeply.




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[MiNTY♥]

Shaking his head vigorously to try and clear it from panic, the black tom  studied Dreamfeather. At first he was a little hesitant before deciding that them growing close was an acceptable circumstance. "I don't really know, their signs are so close to dreams its impossible to tell," he replied with a frown. "But I fear what was in that dream was too close to reality for it to just be coincidence." There was no way that the same moon that his camp was growing damp with the thaw that he just randomly happened to have a dream where he, and the forest, drowned. If only Ashenflight was not so busy keeping Frozensilk alive, then she could consult with the other medicine cats and they would figure out what it meant. However, he completely understood that the elders life was more important at the present. Meanwhile Voidstar was lost. He did not believe in Starclan enough for him to do something about the dream they may or may not have sent him, but at the same time the thought of flooding worried him.

Resting his nose on the shoulder of his deputy he breathed out, her silver fur tickling his nose as he did. Standing up straight he knew that the image of the lake consuming him was not going to leave his head anytime soon and he glanced up at the sky through the exit to the den. "Come with me to the lake?" he asked the female. Not realising until after he had spoken that the significance of the lake to his dream would be beyond her since he had not yet explained what he had experienced. "I will explain in a momemt," he added quickly before slipping out of the den and shaking the moss out of his fur. The cool night air rushed over him and calmed his nerves a little, but he was still determined to see that the lake was at peace with his own eyes before he could allow his mind to rest. Trotting down the bark of the tree, he paused at the bottom to search for her silver pelt bathed in the moonlight before continuing. One part of him regretted not being a bit more patient but the other part was pushing him onwards. Waiting for her seemed like an eternity even though in reality it was barely a few seconds. As soon as he possibly could he dashed off into the forest at a swift jog in the direction of the lake.

Ooc// will format later.

[Dawn]

"All of the things that I tried to say, all of the words just got in the way."

[/sup]

^{"I close my eyes but all that I can see is someone who I'm never gonna be."}[/sup]

Her frown felt so ever-present lately. Was it because of all that had changed between herself and Voidstar? Once she would've given anything to be the leader's mate, but now she didn't really know how he felt about her, and she was afraid to ask. There had been a lot of 'the ones' it seemed, but none of them had really ever been the one. Not that it mattered. Dreamfeather's view on love was pretty skeptical anyway. Get with a tom, be his mate, get pregnant, have kits, repeat. That was all it was, right? Pretty trivial, when you're the deputy. And it wasn't what she wanted, either. To get fat, weighed down by extra lives, troubled by their chances of survival, ever fretting about them even after they were born. Her clan was all she needed. Still, she couldn't help but feel that Tempestclan would benefit from new blood. Not her kits though. Perhaps her cousins would help create the new generation. Anyway, her pregnancy wasn't a possibility. She wasn't even sure being with Voidstar was a possibility, but her unpleasant thoughts ceased tugging at her when the leader rested his nose on her shoulder.

Always bringing me back. Most cats just pressed her further and further into her own world, into her mind's seclusion. But Voidstar always retrieved her. In a way, that was how he protected her. ""Come with me to the lake?" Dreamfeather nodded, her troubled expression matching his. "Of course," was her meow of assent, not really thinking this was any sort of romantic stroll, more of an instance where a leader and deputy couldn't sleep so they went out together, likely to discuss more important things. This didn't make her heavy at heart though, nor heavy at paw. Voidstar seemed eager, not to be alone with her but to see the lake, and so she followed. Her paws were light and quick, her claws scratching softly down the bark. The tom's midnight black pelt was lost to her in the night, but she pursued him by scent, and by looking for the sleek sheen of color in moonlight. He hardly waited for her to be at his side before he raced off, and so Dreamfeather plunged into the forest afterward. Her tired silver paws beat a cold path through the trees, wending here and there, overall just trying to keep pace. It wasn't too hard, as they were both around the same size and musculature. Soon the bengal ran alongside Voidstar, trusting him indefinitely to take them to the lake and back safely, but also knowing she could defend herself just as well. Still, it was nice to have someone else on your side, rather than just reacting to everything with blind instinct.



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[MiNTY♥]

hear us now, clear and true, wretches and kings we come for you

It was comforting to have her running beside him, he liked the feeling of knowing that he was not alone and he was glad he didn’t have to go through this panic by himself. Slowing his pace he glared sceptically through the undergrowth at the lake that glittered in the moonlight. Catching his breath he pushed through the ferns that tangled his pelt and started with narrowed eyes at the black expanse of water that spread out before him. ”Is it just me or is the lake rising?” He thought out loud, although it would have been helpful to have Dreamfeather’s opinion on the thought. It had to have been a sign form Starclan, it all added up with the damp dens and the lake rising. Either that or he was just being paranoid, but he rarely got paranoid about anything because he feared very little and it was others who should be scared of him. Yet, he was not stupid enough not to fear nature because it would always win.

”I dreamt that there was a great wave and the whole forest was consumed by the lake, it swept everything aside with minimal effort and left nothing behind. I’m worried that if we stay here, we will all be consumed by the lake, all of our territory and everything we know.” He explained his muscles tense as if the lake would swallow him at any second. Shaking the thoughts from his head he realised how stupid he sounded. It was if he was some psychotic mess like his brother and didn’t fully understand what he was saying, but just continued to babble on about some prophecy like a blundering idiot. No wonder he didn’t like Starclan because whenever they got involved everything started to go wrong. ”Wow, you should have told me I sounded so silly, bloody Starclan never helping out.” He hissed and rolled his eyes at his warrior ancestors. Maybe they were just trying to prove a point to Tempestclan, in that they did exist. He knew for sure that he and Dreamfeather did not have a strong belief in the cats with pelts made from stars.

Then he realised how stupid it looked dashing over to the lake at this time of night just for this. As he began to digest how odd this whole situation was and how he had overreacted about a nightmare he began to calm down more and more, his muscles starting to relax. ”Jeez, next time tell me how much of a mouse brain I am being, I don’t know what I would do if I didn’t have you to put up with me.” He chuckled and flicked her ear with his tail.

ANCK SU NAMUN OF CAUTION!

[aero ❥]

you're sick of feeling numb, you're not the only one

He wasn't supposed to care. He had wished ill on the tom so many times. So many. Maybe even for something in the night to take him, far away from the lanky black tom. Twistedleg was a nuisance, or had been, troubling Longshadow since kithood. Always taking the credit, always hoarding the glory. Being so much better than the clover eyed tom in every way. Part of his mind - heart - might have even been happy. But the desperate grip of realization choked him, the lonely fingers bore into his being. He was alone in this world, no existing family survived, it was him that alone carried the memory of a bloodline. He wasn't one to particularly car about extinction, he never visited with his family when they were alive. The tom was solitary. Though knowing that if he ever wanted to change, to turn around the ale relationships with his kin, he could not. He was better connected to Starclan than Tempestclan. It isn't true, I've got her. He shook his head. He didn't possess her. He had once, but she had fleeted from his mind. His life. Her aura had since faded. The spell she had cast over him with her puzzling mind and awing beauty no longer touched his interest. He had pushed their late nights away as if they were undesirable. Closed her piercing eyes which had opened his dreams. Vanished from his world was what Dreamfeather did, but Longshadow had made it so without meaning to.

Deep inside, under the jaded emotion, under the quarry of thought, pooled his longing, his memories, his attachment. His unspoken feelings that once swam abroad drowned in hidden darkness. She was his everything. And now she is nothing. You are nothing. Lies. He was an umbrage that walked in steps made by a cat that hadn't seen light for a history. The dark warrior wasn't blind and certainly not deaf in his trek. He couldn't help but hear old speculations, rumor of deputy and leader attractions. He had heard those with the deputy before her. But he saw, as he left camp from night to night, a silver, swirled form recede into an elevated mouth of question. Voidstar's den. Longshadow had grudged against the black tom for many moons, no specific reason. You could blame origins, kin, command - but the odd lengthy tom had never obliged Voidstar with his liking nor respect. And in that reservoir of past obsession, jealousy and betrayal threaded the restless waters.

His paws wept with damp earth, the already boggy terrain sopping at his ankles from the recent flooding. His long legs were heavy with the sleepless night, clover eyes solemnly flickerng between the moon high above and the brush in front of him. It wasn't terribly cold, but he felt numb, his mind churning with lagging thoughts. About his brother, about camp, about tomorrow, and about who he used to meet on these sleepless journeys. In the pale moonlight, a spiderweb waved in the pliable breeze. It clung to an over-grown bush, babbling to itself with it's flowing movements. It spoke to the hushed feline that melded with the nightly shade. Standing, listening, he pondered where the spider must have gone. Left to find a new home? Eaten by a bird? Or simply died because of what spiders do. He had left his web crying for help, sentenced it to drift away one strong wind. That was all it took, one strong wind to erase the entire memory. He continued to the lake shore, extensive tail flickered as a candle would. Was it sooner that he met the water's edge? Had the surface rose to a new height? He studied it, and cocked his head. Voices echoed off of the glittering surface. His ears perked up, trying to make out the words. One of the voices was no doubt male. He stretched his neck, craning to see around him. The night veiled anything he could have easily seen from his towering height at day. Leaning back to the water, he craved more. A lighter voice pricked at his senses, feeling a tender place in his mind. He only wondered for a minute longer, and who's voice it was drummed at his skull from the inside. Curious. He was curious now. Opening his mouth to taste for scents, he hunted along the water. That's all he was. Just a little curious. The tom nosed through reeds and padded through sucking mud, emerging into a small shaded hollow where from he could see her. Strong, lean, but still just as dazzling. The maze on her coat, like a map, his eyes made no sense of the pattern. He crouched, stricken by the feeling of lust. Just to talk to her would deliver him to the same obsessed state he had once been. He needed to talk to her. Make things right. What was right? He speculated, until he finally noticed the bigger figure beside her. His entire chest dropped, his intense eyes running down the tom's black coat, spine quivering. Voidstar. Does she do this, meet them out at moon-high? Was I just a pawn, this was us. This could have been me. Nights were our memories... He was sickened, disgusted, repulsed by his wild imagination. He knew her. He remembered all the things he had carefully stored into his banks about her. How could this happen?

Befuddled, the lanky tom lowered himself, deep black belly fur brushing the moist ground. His eyes never left the pair. ”Jeez, next time tell me how much of a mouse brain I am being, I don’t know what I would do if I didn’t have you to put up with me.” He twitched as the tom touched the silver Bengal. He felt so small inside, more alone than he had the last few moons. More alone than he'd felt in his entire life. Hurt wrapped itself tightly around that loneliness, constricting it; clenching deep. As he crouched there, stiffened, a new emotion was quickly filling the rest of his body. His mind was smothered by it, thoughts scrambled. It scorched his eyes that fought with tears, but those too dried. He had never been so angry. His clover green eyes were furrowed by a heavy brow, intense. The black tom was a statue of emotion, always so seriously calm. But this was different. He was scared of his feelings, cornered inside himself like a wild animal. The only escape he saw was a fight. Before he realized he was out in the open, he was making a bee-line for the two Tempestclan authorities. His biting stare searched for her's until he found it. "Is this how you get them," He was almost halfway to them. "Is this what you do." His tone was soft, bitter. "I didn't know I'd find you out here." He called loudly. "Or else I wouldn't have come." The words were fierce, stinging. He stopped maybe fifteen tail-lengths from them. He was burning inside, but he felt so cold.

COUNT: 1179 | NOTES: World so cold -Three Days Grace | credit

[Dawn]

"All of the things that I tried to say, all of the words just got in the way."

[/sup]

^{"I close my eyes but all that I can see is someone who I'm never gonna be."}[/sup]

Dreamfeather peeked out at the lake, eyes scanning the far horizon, taking in the churning waves and the mere stretch of darkness in the distance. ”Is it just me or is the lake rising?” It was only then that she sought out the huge boulders, whose gray faces jutted out of the water a short while from shore. Her icy blue eyes widened when they found nothing; surely the water had covered them, and so it was rising after all? "It's definitely gone up a lot in the past moon,"[/color] she agreed, wary of committing to the statement. Were her eyes just playing tricks on her? Perhaps the dawn patrol would find the shoreline just the same, but she didn't think so. Their position, so much higher on the beach that was now covered with freezing cold lakewater, was a dead giveaway.

The silver bengal considered his words anxiously. "It must have been a really realistic dream, to get you so worked up. Maybe it really was Starclan...?"[/color] She couldn't see it, though. Not really. ”Wow, you should have told me I sounded so silly, bloody Starclan never helping out.” The deputy almost smiled at the situation, but it actually had her worried. What if their territory flooded? If all of the forest flooded? Very real fear gripped her as she imagined every cat devoured by a monstrous wave, tearing away even the strongest warriors. Everyone she cared about, gone. ”Jeez, next time tell me how much of a mouse brain I am being, I don’t know what I would do if I didn’t have you to put up with me.” "It's not mouse-brained!"[/color] She exclaimed, hardly able to help herself with the rising panic in her chest. Abashed, Dreamfeather lowered her voice, "Anyway, it's my job to 'put up with' you."[/color] She finally allowed herself to laugh quietly at the whole thing.

All of her amusement with the situation died, however, as a flash of ebony entered her gaze, and before she knew it her eyes were frozen to those piercing green ones. Captivated, as always, in a sickly fascinated way. His voice was a harsh clang, it made warning bells ring in her head and a dull ache resonated through her chest with it. "I didn't know I'd find you out here." Longshadow... his words deafened her. She went numb, staring at him, standing close next to the leader. Dreamfeather was stabbed clean through with a horribly desperate feeling of terror. She was entirely transfixed, as though seeing for the first time the parts of her life crashing together forcefully, shattering into so many pieces upon impact that she could scarcely make sense of it.

As she regained control, her heart beating fast and her body cold, Dreamfeather was on the defensive. "Yes, I'm so ashamed, you caught me!"[/color] She hissed sarcastically, though her emotion was true; guilt. "Looking at the lake depth with the leader, what a crime."[/color] Like the waters, her emotions were not receding into herself but growing, becoming swollen in her stomach. "Where have you been, Longshadow...?"[/color] She whispered, a sentence that could be taken meaningfully or not, however he wanted to answer it. She wanted to look at Voidstar but instead she kept looking at him, thinking about how they shared basic characteristics but were really nothing alike, not even in looks. Both with sleek black fur and hypnotic green eyes, but built differently, meaning different things to her, behaving differently. The fight that was likely to happen had barely begun and already she felt like crumbling to the ground and staying there, giving up. There were no easy ways out now.
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[MiNTY♥]

hear us now, clear and true, wretches and kings we come for you

A small smile rose upon his maw, so he knew he wasn't going crazy then. As he got rid of his frustrations from the dream everything gradually grew clearer and he could relax more. Feeling the air grow tense he looked over at her. "I'm sure if it was they would have spoken to the other clans too because it won’t be just us who is affected by the lake rising, clearly. Maybe we shouldn't be too worried." He responded , his eyes staring off at something distant. He hoped he was right, he hoped Starclan were wrong. Tempestclan had always been here and he wasn't about to start planning to move now. As she laughed he felt himself relax again. If there were any problems with the water he would be expecting it, he would take charge and lead his clan through it and he was confident he could. He was leader for a reason and should the water come they could move further away from the lake temporarily before a permanent solution was decided upon.

At first he thought it had been something that he had said, but as he looked over at the silver bengal she was no longer focusing on him. Her gaze was captured by something else, and when he stopped thinking about himself, he realised that thing had been speaking. Averting his eyes from the she-cat he turned to see who was interrupting him. Blood began to pulse through his veins as he felt his heart beat pick up the pace a little. A surge of energy rushed through him as this happened and he struggled with it until he was able to control it after gradually mentally working through his urges until he was left with irritation. The words the black tom spat at them were bitter and cold, he imagined if he hit Longshadow now he would simply shatter like ice and form in a puddle at his paws. He was so delicate, so passionate, it truly was sickening. He took everything to the heart and liked to play the victim in situations just like this one. He felt the fury come surging back as he glared at the tom with burning, electrifying, green eyes. If looks could kill he would have dropped dead that very second, fortunately killing took a lot more effort but Voidstar could afford that whenever it was necessary. Firstly, he was annoyed at the tom for acting like such a queen for he would have fitted in better in a nursery. Secondly, he was annoyed at the tone of voice with which he addressed them both when he should have been showing a much greater dose of respect in their presence. Thirdly, he had been contributing nothing to the clan since his brother died. Dreamfeather's words were about to drown in what he had to say.

Getting to his paws Voidstar prowled forward, a guardian of the night out to protect his territory and his female. "And what makes you think you have a right to be wandering about out her at night? Listening in on us discussing clan business? I would assume you have found some kind of herb that gives you bravery with the way you have been acting." He growled, his eyes glowed with suck anger one could expect sparks to come flying from them at any moment. "You have been lying around contributing nothing to your clan because you spend all night wandering and all day sleeping. Then you address your leader and deputy in a completely disrespectful manner. You need to stop being so selfish all the time Longshadow, you live in a clan not by yourself, do you know what that means? That means you need to think of others and not just drown in your own pathetic pity party all the time. If you want to stay in this clan I should expect to see a complete change in your attitude before I put you in with the apprentices." He snarled finally finishing his scolding. Voidstar could not believe the ignorance and cheek that flooded from this tom and one of the more senior warriors as well. He had to right to decide to be in Dreamfeather's life again, he had hurt her and made that decision moons ago and by coming back he would only hurt her more. If Longshadow really cared for her then he would just have left her alone, but he would not speak of whatever the two had felt between them. They would have to sort that out between them, but if Longshadow thought Voidstar would back down without a fight then he had another force coming.

notes// Whoa, you made him maaaaad. Got a bit carried away but I was having fun.

ANCK SU NAMUN OF CAUTION!

[aero ❥]

you're sick of feeling numb, you're not the only one

It was like someone had splashed ice water on him, jolting him into reality with a nipping shock of the dream world that faded too fast. Too fast for someone who had let go maybe too soon. He had been the fool that had let go too soon. As he stared into those haunting eyes, a hundred other ways to have approached the situation stared back at him. He could have came up to her later, when his anger had subsided. Made an excuse to talk to her, Starclan knew he could lie himself out of anything. So well I've tricked even myself. The truth was, he could have taken no other action. Simply couldn't of, because he was tired of lying. He wouldn't lie to her, he wouldn't suck up and lie to Voidstar, and damn heaven and hell he would not lie to himself. He had stormed madly out because he was in love with Dreamfeather. He'd known it for a long, long time.

"Yes, I'm so ashamed, you caught me!" The lanky tom did not recoil as he might have once, but stood firm. "Looking at the lake depth with the leader, what a crime." Is that a smile creeping at those corners, Longshadow? "You damn well know the water wasn't the only thing on your mind." He grunted, eyes pulling out to the gentle lapping of the shore. "Not that there is anything wrong with that." His sharp clover orbs were trained on her again. I know you, goddess. I know you. That's what she was - a goddess. She controlled the night and everything in it, which, sometimes included him. Her charm was the moon that pulled the tide which he rode, the darkness ever deep. Ever mysterious. Depths so great he could not begin to touch it with even his wildest imagination. The darkness harbored secrets, but he didn't need to know them to know the goddess that kept them. He just hadn't prayed to her for what seemed a lifetime. And it seemed, as it was, this was her vengeance. "Where have you been, Longshadow...?" Was it pain that lingered in the question? His heart beat like thunder in his chest. "I-I..don't know." It was so soft, he hoped she heard it. He hoped. (The goddess heard all.) "And what makes you think you have a right to be wandering about out her at night? Listening in on us discussing clan business? I would assume you have found some kind of herb that gives you bravery with the way you have been acting." For the first time since he had made himself known, he looked at the black tom. They were different, but so a like. Both completely black with green eyes. Voidstar had a brawny build, handsome. Longshadow was thinner, lengthy, but not completely useless. He had the wiry body. Thin but surprisingly strong - though his self upkeep hadn't been good lately, so he looked a little less strong and a whole lot more thin. Mostly the lankiness made him look so. But under the sunken shallows, he was still sharp and good looking. Not that he was a tower of hideous bones, he probably just couldn't best his leader in a fight. Not counting the, you know, couple extra lives the tom had on him.

"You have been lying around contributing nothing to your clan because you spend all night wandering and all day sleeping. Then you address your leader and deputy in a completely disrespectful manner. You need to stop being so selfish all the time Longshadow, you live in a clan not by yourself, do you know what that means? That means you need to think of others and not just drown in your own pathetic pity party all the time. If you want to stay in this clan I should expect to see a complete change in your attitude before I put you in with the apprentices." It wasn't the tone, more of the threat that really pissed Longshadow off. If he was anyone but Voidstar, a brawl would have erupted right then and there. But the warrior was no fool. Voidstar was fair and kind up until you got too close and stepped on his tail, or rattled his cage of possession a little. He had never liked the leader. He couldn't remember a single day he had. Of course, now he had a proper reason to dislike him. (The goddess hears all.) "Maybe this is a bad time, but honestly, I've addressed you in no such ill manner, and intend to keep it that way if you'd be...kind...enough to put aside all my shortcomings and let me have a conversation with your deputy here. You're welcome to listen, I don't mind, and I don't think you'd give us a choice if we did. We can talk after about my selfishness and pity party, and how pathetic it is, after if you'd give us the moment." He spat some of the quirky lines, but some also were sincere. Maybe not the exact reply someone should give a leader, but if Voidstar wanted to get to the bottom of whatever it was that was unfolding here, he would at least grant Dreamfeather and Longshadow an exchange. After he could yowl his temper in Longshadow's face until his tongue turned blue and his heart quit beating. The warrior didn't much care. The only thing that mattered was Dreamfeather, and that he indeed did love her. To tell her here was impossible, though. The midnight tom prayed (The goddess hears all.) she would see it, or give him the chance to confess at a later date.

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[Dawn]

"I love him so much it just turns to hate. I fake it so real, I am beyond fake. "

[/sup]

As the leader moved forward, between herself and the other tom, she noted the differences between them again, stored them away. Longshadow flickered from place to place like a scrawny shadow, a jagged streak of darkness. Voidstar moved with straightforward purpose, everything solid and powerful. His stance was strong and defined and Longshadow's reminded her of a fawn, alight on it's toes and ready to streak away at a moment's notice. Dreamfeather chewed on her lip and wondered why it mattered so much anyway.

She didn't like the possessiveness to Voidstar, but she realized that it was in part with both of them. The muscular tom before her made his words about Longshadow, his actions about Dreamfeather, while Longshadow made his words and actions solely focused on the deputy. Either way, it irritated her, how they stood off against each other as if this chance meeting was some sort of contest, a fight undeclared. The bengal cringed at Voidstar's words, her maw turning down in disapproval over the entire scene unfolding, leaving her watching powerlessly. How she hated to be the soft female to two toms, when she was just as aggressive as either of them.

"You damn well know the water wasn't the only thing on your mind." Dreamfeather scoffed, took a pawstep back, forward, uneasy on her own feet. She looked at her paws to be sure that they were her's, so filled with unrest was she that they seemed alien, just as out of place as her jumble of feelings. "A tom I care about asked me to the lake with him. It was my place to agree or disagree, and seeing as that tom is the leader... I can choose who I spend my time with. It doesn't have to be you. We aren't mates. But Voidstar is my leader, and it's my duty to serve him." She felt a pang of pity for him when he spoke his softest words, and as her eyes were focused on him, she saw the change. Voidstar's words rippled throughout his body like a stone cast into a jet-black pool, bringing with them anger on the wings of transformation. Mutation.

"Maybe this is a bad time, but honestly, I've addressed you in no such ill manner, and intend to keep it that way if you'd be...kind...enough to put aside all my shortcomings and let me have a conversation with your deputy here. You're welcome to listen, I don't mind, and I don't think you'd give us a choice if we did. We can talk after about my selfishness and pity party, and how pathetic it is, after if you'd give us the moment." A flash of indignation occurred darkly upon her blue eyes. She refused to be a bystander. "This is all getting rather out of proportion, isn't it?" She had been silent for too long, and speaking released a bit of the airy feeling in her skull, words locked tight making her lightheaded. "Voidstar," she addressed the tom in the tone she would have usually, trying to keep the tautness out of it. "If you can agree, I would like to hear him out, and I think it's the right thing to do. I'm sure he will hold true to his promises afterward also, if that's what you want. But as my friend, I would appreciate you giving him a chance to say what he has to say. It can't harm anyone to do so." Of course she knew it could, and it would harm them all. But she couldn't rightly turn him away nor could she tell the leader to leave. Dreamfeather was so conflicted. They tore her to shreds, the words that had been exchanged and feelings from past and present. She hated not being in control, greatest of all she hated losing control of herself. It was a detestable practice, and she couldn't let it happen.

Feeling as though she had assumed crash-survival mode fully and truly now, Dreamfeather bent her legs in a crouch and turned her chin down from the sharp angle it had acquired. "I'm sorry," she murmured, looking at no one as she admired the fine paint of moonlight upon the dark trunks of the forest's many guardians. "But I owe it to him to listen." In some ways, she could've been speaking to either of them. From there on she fell silent again, hyperaware of eyes that fell on her, and of a sleek black coat of fur visible from the corner of her vision.

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[MiNTY♥]

hear us now, clear and true, wretches and kings we come for you

The large black tom snorted in response. ”You should know by now I am not kind, especially to those who don’t follow the warrior code.” He hissed in response through clenched fangs. The moon cast an ominous shadow over his blazing eyes as he stared pointedly at Longshadow, a sign of confidence and more importantly aggression. His tail lashed as he stood tall and proud over the other black tom cat. ”One would have thought that after my previous lecture you would have realised that your priority is your clan right now, and not yourself. Clearly my point was not made clearly enough and you can learn some respect and what it is like to be a valuable warrior from cleaning the elders den for the next moon, as well as your patrols. I feel it a fitting punishment since like an apprentice you are unable to control your emotions. And if you don’t like it you can leave. Some of these rogues I have recruited are more loyal than you.” He growled darkly.

He was not a tom to care for heart felt stories, intended to tug on the heart strings and sway one’s decision. Longshadow had acted out of line and he had not accepted Voidstar’s first warning, or rather scolding. When Dreamfeather cut in he flicked his tail dismissively at her comment for he had a lack of interest in hearing it, there was a slight urgency in her tone and there was no place for either of them pleading and trying to change his mind. Honestly, he couldn’t be bothered with this. He did not see why he had let himself consider his emotions before now because they were only getting in the way and causing the trouble that he saw before him. What he classed as too much emotion was clearly nothing to the others in his company, who were clearly very in touch with their feelings. Feelings caused bad judgement; they caused confusion, hostility, hurt and worst of all love. He had been right pushing it away before and as far as he was concerned he did not want anything to do with it, or this. It was all ridiculous business. Maybe he was just better off being on his own, despite being very caring towards his kin. He held them all very close but it did not feel right having anyone else close because that was when all of the drama started. Voidstar liked to see himself as a simple tom, and if courting a female and taking her on as a mate was simple then that would suit him well but it wasn’t. Nothing was simple and nothing was fair. Everyone had something to complain about.

Turning to look over his shoulder his gaze rested upon Dreamfeather, his face a blank canvas. ”Well I certainly don’t want to talk to that lazy wretch, but if you wish to do so then be my guest.” He replied, now talking about the tom as though he were no longer in their presence. Just like it should have been. Just when there was potential for happiness he had to loom over them like some sort of rain cloud, but Longshadow had no power over him. It was up to Voidstar who stayed and who left, he was the intelligent one here and that was why he was the leader and not Longshadow. Every day he worked his hardest for the clan and would continue to do so until all of his nine lives had been taken, used in defending his clan mates of course. Longshadow was selfish and he couldn’t see a reason to be impressed by him in any way now that he had appeared to have retired from warrior duties. ”It was good to have this discussion about the clan.” With that he shook out his pelt and disappeared, a black haze blending in with the shadows. It was at that moment he knew he was hiding within himself again.

ANCK SU NAMUN OF CAUTION!

[aero ❥]

you're sick of feeling numb, you're not the only one

”You should know by now I am not kind, especially to those who don’t follow the warrior code.” Longshadow pictured a recording that just looped, playing over and over, always saying the same thing. Voidstar seemed to repeat himself in the black tom's mind. ”One would have thought that after my previous lecture you would have realized that your priority is your clan right now, and not yourself. Clearly my point was not made clearly enough and you can learn some respect and what it is like to be a valuable warrior from cleaning the elders den for the next moon, as well as your patrols. I feel it a fitting punishment since like an apprentice you are unable to control your emotions. And if you don’t like it you can leave. Some of these rogues I have recruited are more loyal than you.” His muscles quivered, squeezing in on himself. His teeth clasped tight, his throat tickled with a maniacal laughter that desperately wanted to cross his dark lips. There was so much wrong with what the tom had just said. Tsk tsk. The goddess hears all. ”Well I certainly don’t want to talk to that lazy wretch, but if you wish to do so then be my guest.” Longshadow didn't expect courtesy, and he received exactly none from him. ”It was good to have this discussion about the clan.” His clover gaze chased him out of view, until he melted into the darkness, becoming another of the goddess's secrets.

If he had been anyone else, Voidstar would not have even paid thought to punish behavior such as Longshadow's. But Longshadow was apart of Voidstar's personal life now. He mattered. This lazy wretch had taken a part of what the leader wanted, and right now he was chasing sloppy seconds. Dreamfeather isn't sloppy seconds. She was everything but, and calling her so made him feel guilty. He banished the thought, and returned to scoffing. Rogues were never meant to be in a clan, and a clan did not recruit anyone. A clan was a group of cats bound by loyalty and kept within itself, never reaching out. Voidstar would never understand that, since he was a rogue himself. Tempestclan was polluted, of that the lanky warrior was convinced. He wished so badly to take this to the Bengal's ear, but she would never talk ill of the broad tom. Never concur with the truth, even though it was legitimate. The black tom knew this. So he didn't waste the precious time alone they had on their leader, he would address the 'punishments' later as well. Right now, he looked to her, curious, but very emotionless compared to what he felt inside. The nights they spent together whisked into his mind, softening his tone. "Dreamfeather..." Was there a place to start? He had so much bottled inside him. He had passion, anger, regret, and most of all love boiling just at the brim.

"I never meant to go. Truly. I realize I gave you no choice, it's my fault, I know that. I'm sorry, so so sorry." The words were jumbled and fast, but quiet. He couldn't recall the last time he had apologized to someone. "I.....miss you." His eyes flickered away. No more lies. He sighed, feeling like things were moving too fast and there wasn't enough time. As if the clock were ticking down, and he had distance yet to go. He wanted to ask something. Hell, a few things, but one thing before the rest. Do you want Voidstar? If she did, there was no need for him to stay. To even breathe. His heart, which had loved only this once, would surely never do so again. From her he demanded nothing but her affection. If she wanted Voidstar, he wouldn't ever receive that. As Longshadow thought, he wondered if the leader even cared about the beautiful she-cat. If he loved her. If he would demand of her more than Longshadow ever would, and even give half as much back. Would he want kits? The warrior twitched. The idea maddened him. Destroyed him. His gut felt like someone wrapped it around a blade. He looked at Dreamfeather, sizing her up as a mother. Some how her personality didn't fit. She wouldn't want it to be that way, nursing kittens while her duties were on hold. He could bare to think of it no longer, to imagine kits at her belly black of fur, but were not his.

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