iNSOMNiA ! {private}

[Dawn]

"I love him so much it just turns to hate. I fake it so real, I am beyond fake. "

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”Well I certainly don’t want to talk to that lazy wretch, but if you wish to do so then be my guest.” Voidstar's mood had become exceptionally poor, and she wondered if she could blame him. In part she was angry with the tom for reacting so, but hadn't she been feeling... well, something, for him, before Longshadow showed up? Did she blame Longshadow? Was she angry with Voidstar? The entire thing was, quite possibly, all her fault. She had to make a choice and she wasn't ready to. She didn't want to commit to something that might be so rocky. Taking Longshadow as a mate would be such; whereas Voidstar, wasn't he steady and even? ”It was good to have this discussion about the clan.” "Goodbye, Voidstar," Dreamfeather replied quietly, watching him disappear and wondering if that was the last time she'd say that.

Dreamfeather wasn't sure how to talk to Longshadow, when all she wanted to do was curl up somewhere shadowy and hide until daybreak. The night was full of surprises and none of them seemed good. She wanted to be happy and she wanted to be alone but she also wanted to be with someone completely for once and she didn't think that someone was going to make the decision for her. The bengal sighed, feeling all emotion drain out of her with the action. "I've missed you a lot, too," she admitted, feeling the weight of his apology without acknowledging it. "Where... where do we even go from here?"
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[aero ❥]

you're sick of feeling numb, you're not the only one

For a moment, it looked as if she were lifeless. But her own words forced her body to animate. "I've missed you a lot, too," The words didn't fill him with as much promise as he would have liked. I knew she still cared. How could she not? Something real never goes away. "Where... where do we even go from here?" He gazed at her, clover eyes hard. Troubled. A desperate feeling clawed at his insides, trying to force it's way into his expression, into his body language, but he swallowed and just thought. Her and Voidstar have...something. As do we. And knowing Voidstar, he didn't take no for an answer. Dreamfeather was his deputy, and things could get rough for her if she chose to find happiness with Longshadow. A flare of intense anger ignited, almost as fierce as his temper before. Voidstar is the one messing this up. He's in the way. Making things complicated. The idea of assassinating him, committing cold blooded murder was an amusing day dream, but only a day dream. The wiry tom knew he couldn't kill the black cat. If he wanted to dishonor himself and try to rid him in his sleep or surprise, that wouldn't work either. You know why? Because Dreamfeather would be leader, and would refuse to take a mate for quite a while. Her clan would need her, and Dreamstar would answer their pleads. It would probably be moons until she felt comfortable being with Longshadow. And the lanky tom wasn't keen on waiting for an uncertain future.

Backpedaling, was it really Voidstar's fault? The warrior had left Dreamfeather for the taking. Probably would have tried something with her anyway. Grudgingly shaking his head, he returned his thoughts to the quiet night here beside the lake. "It's where you go from here Dreamfeather." Only her decision mattered. Would she choose glory, greed, and power? Or comfort, happiness, and love? The fact was she couldn't have both - and no matter how much Longshadow loved her he wouldn't wait forever.
And he had a feeling neither would Voidstar.

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