Help, please?

[MiNTY♥]

Ok so I guess I would just like a bit of advice from you guys because you don't know what my ex-boyfriend is like at all so you will have a more open view to him where as all my friends hate him and want him to die so they have extremely biased advice and I really don't want to take their advice so I want to know what you guys think.

So it was the middle of summer and everything was going fine until my boyfriend (let's call him bob) started acting really weird. So I eventually got him to tell me and he said that all his friends at the mosque found out about him having a girlfriend (which he isn't supposed to because he is a Muslim) and then a few days later one of the teacher people there gave the class a big lecture about how important their religion is and basically about how they should be dedicated to it and not have girlfriends etc. and this really effected him and he dumped me. Over facebook I might add. Which I would also like to add I did not deserve because it's not like we had been fighting or I had been a bitch to him or anything like that, I had done nothing wrong and then suddenly he just broke up with me for his religion when he was the one who asked me to be his girlfriend in the first place.

So now it's two months later and the days aren't getting any easier, if I only cry once in a day then that makes it a good day and I have been really depressed and down and my self-harming habit has come back because of this event. We are trying to be friends but it has been really hard. Basically we still love each other but he is determined to stick to his religion and therefore hurting us both. I don't want to be disrespectful to any religion, I may not be religious but I don't have any bad views about people who are, but it has been really hard to deal with this and it makes me so angry because sadly for me I can't understand religion and I can't believe in it either. I know some people do and they are really happy because of it but I just can't and that's that. So I am trying to be nice about this whole thing but it's so hard for me because it's hurting both of us.

This Friday after school I said to him that it doesn't get any easier and he said I know, then he hugged me for a while, I started crying and left. A few days before that he started acting like we were going out a little bit again which I told him to stop doing because messing with my head like that wasn't fair to me. By this I mean having a dream about me and another guy and getting really upset about it and kissing me on the head. Which really isn't fair to me because he made it clear that we aren't going out and why we aren't going out but then he just does that and confuses me and he gives me hope that there might still be something left for us but then I know there isn't and I get really upset. But I told him to stop trying to do that because I couldn't take it.

Also before you read the next thing there is this girl who is his best friend and she flirts with him, wears his hoodie, and is basically pretty obnoxious (yas I used an American word that Scottish people don't use). So yeah he claims she is like his sister but when I see them together I get so jealous I want to explode, you guys should know what girls are like and she's naturally a flirt and has a reputation for being a bit of a slut.

Then last night we had an argument and he sent me this text at 6am:
"Yes I did say you should be mean to me but that doesn't include my friends. Once anyone starts insulting the people I love (and I don't mean the same way as I love you btw) I do whatever I can to protect them. And yes you can start to annoy me a little bit sometimes but that's really hard to do and doesn't happen often. And she doesn't flirt with me. We are just very close and if that bothers you then I'm sorry. And idk if you noticed but whenever I'm around you I'm always smiling. So don't say you don't make me smile anymore cos you do. Just being able to see you gives me that little bit of strength I need to get through the day. And when I can get you to smile that's a massive bonus. Yes I made it clear we aren't going out bit I also made it clear why."

So yeah basically I just feel shit, and I can't concentrate, I can't sleep, I cry all the time and I am not the same person I used to be. I used to be tough, I was the strong one in my group of friends and they always depended on me to be strong for them and be, well basically a bitch if anyone messed with me or them. Now I have totally lost my spirit, I'm weak, I'm down and I don't have enough energy to care about anything. It also doesn't help there is five in my group of friends and I'm the one who is the odd one out so that makes me feel more alone than ever.

So what do you guys think? =/
p.s. crap I didn't realise how long this post was going to be, and if you have read it all the way through then you deserve an oreo...or a bag of oreos. :3

[lily ♫]

afsghjdklgloshjfgshdf.

ohmigod.

i don't know what to say to help at all aside from he should never have asked you out to begin with if it was against his religion and he knew it was going to get him in trouble with his leaders and family and stuff. that's cruel, and he should never have done that unless he was going to fight against his religion for you (which, fat chance, men and boys are indeed men and boys and they don't like being chivalrous anymore).

if i were you, i'd probably be doing the same thing and destroying myself by seeing him, but the thing is that you should be doing your best to ignore him. tell him it's too hard to play games like this and that it hurts you more and more everyday. engulf yourself in studies, find a new hobby, decorate some more cupcakes! read some of your favorite type of books or reread your old favorites. just distract yourself.

i'm sorry, minty. </3

[MiNTY♥]

I know right! I was like wtf why did you even ask me out? Why can't guys me like they used to be in old-fashioned times? They should fight for their woman and be respectful to her and be a gentleman, guys in this generation don't know how to treat females pfft.

I got him into trouble for crossing the friendship boundary and told him to quit it and I try not to talk to him but it's so hard. He is in two of my classes and after class (or between when we get a break in a double period) he comes and talks to me or like runs up behind me in the corridor and tickles me and he texts me and talks to me on facebook. I try my best never to text him or talk to him first so I barely ever make contact with him first but he keeps talking to me and I was talking to my guidance counselor and she said that since trying not to avoid him would hurt me and trying to talk to him would hurt me that I should just let things be and see what happens rather than trying to go down any specific route.

But yeah I just have to do what I can I guess, maybe I will start reading more I mean I have all of the Harry Potter books to read because I have never read them before now and I have this book called Divergent that looks really good. But yeah this is one of the reasons I have had like no muse to post on here but it's coming back.