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Post by firefox1 on Sept 25, 2011 15:06:09 GMT -5
NAME// Emberbreeze
AGE// around 2 1/2
GENDER// female
CLAN// Zephyr Clan
DESIRED POSITION// Warrior
SHORT DESCRIPTION// A black female cat with red-orange flecks on her fur. She has dark amber eyes.
DESCRIPTION// A slim and quick she-cat, she is very light on her feet and has a sharp and cunning eye. She has a few scars on her front left leg but is otherwise unmarked. She has dark amber eyes that are almost orange but still amber. She has a long tail and legs. She is slender but not underfed looking.
PERSONALITY// Emberbreeze is a feisty and sometimes volatile she-cat that doesn't take kindly to being insulted. Se has a sweet side only around kits and her loved ones. She doesn't like to sit still and would rather hunt, fight, or patrol instead of sitting on her butt and chatting. She is a quiet cat that has a way of positioning her body so a not very watchful cat won't notice her . She is proud and sometimes doesn't take to well to taking orders. She is a naturally suspicious cat.She is a talented and unique fighter. She uses dirty tricks in a fight as much as fair moves. She is an okay hunter but the flecks of orange in her pelt give her away unless its fall then she is in her element
EXPERIENCE// She got proper warrior training. She has never been in a real battle so she isn't really a first choice to go to a fight. Not much experience though.
OTHER// --- [/size][/blockquote] |
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Post by LYNX ♥ on Sept 25, 2011 19:53:34 GMT -5
Just a few things, please. the parts that have '---' should be where you typed (look at completed bios for reference, please).
emberbreeze shouldn't be hyphenated.
you've put more personality traits into the experience section and her actual past into the other section. you'll need to fix these things before this can be accepted. |
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Post by firefox1 on Sept 26, 2011 18:36:14 GMT -5
Okay i fixed it.
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