we're waking up !!DAWN!!

[lily ♫]

lilythorn**
we cut tires, we tell lies, we hate change,
and we wanna claim where we feel.

The she-cat's lovely ginger maw opened wide into the form of a yawn; she had been just risen from a mid-afternoon nap and the evening sky was just beginning to be dyed by the setting of the sun. Loss cut into her every heartbeat, but by now, that was nothing new for the deputy of VertigoClan. It felt as if the spell upon herself and her Clanmates had been broken; the agonizing mix of canine and fear scent had faded, and the wolf was gone. They were free. Just thinking of everything that they'd sustained gave her a sense of metaphorical vertigo.

But there had also been loss.

The apprentice she had worked with, taught, scolded, gave advice to, and watched grow up and struggle throughout his life was gone, vitality taken by the same creature that had stolen his sister's. Chasmriver had perished, but so had another. Northwind, who had also faced difficulties, died in battle as she fought on with Lynxstar and Jetfang. One more horrifying image burned in her mind and in her nightmares; Lynxstar had lost another life. It seemed like so many moons ago, when they had faced MaliceClan, that Lilythorn had begun to worry about losing her Leader, confidant, and friend. That day was getting closer.

But she was stronger now.

Shaking her head to escape what haunted her at night, she allowed her icy gaze to sweep across the dark, pine-shrouded camp around her. Familiar shapes bit into freshkill, greeted each other warmly, and shared tongues. Reflectedrain sat aside with Spellpaw, and thoughts of happiness of her own entered her mind. It surprised her, that after such a vast expanse in time, she'd nearly found happiness again in the shape of a good friend. A handsome tom with a comforting, multi-colored gaze. Without even knowing it, she'd purred at the thought.

But now it was her choice.

Smiling so soon since tragedy, Lilythorn had shown improvement in her typical depression, mourning, and loss. It no longer haunted her perpetually like all the times before. Stepping forward with a paw, she stretched out her back and flicked her tail from side to side nonchalantly. 'Where is that tom, anyway?' She asked herself silently, coming back to some of her most recent thoughts. Looking down to where she had rested at the edge of part of the camp, raw emotion surged through her veins. A makeshift nest like her own had been made close beside hers. Had he really? Turning about to scan the camp once more, she spotted another ginger she-cat, and her face fell momentarily. 'It was Flamingarrow, of course.' The deputy thought before spotting the tom.

But it's worth asking.

Pawing her way toward him, she nodded politely to her Clanmates until she faced him. "It's a nice evening, isn't it?" Lilythorn meowed, tilting her head to the side and clenching her eyes shut as her mouth widened into another yawn. "Mrrr, that was a brilliant nap." She added, looking curiously at him. The she-cat felt silly for not being blunt like usual, but she didn't want to appear awkward to her friend. That just wouldn't be right. Whatever feelings she thought she might be developing for the tom might not be reciprocated, so subtlety would be her mantra...or at least she prayed it would be.

we take toes, we rake yours, yeah we dig holes,
and we're diggin' right in your fears.

[Dawn]

* JETFANG

[/size][/font]
Like a star that's been lost in the big dark sky at night


The joys of Greenleaf filled his heart. Jetfang asked nothing more than the warmth of the sun on his back, his fur glowing a hot blue shine, the tang of earlier consumed squirrel in his throat, and the fondness of being beside clanmates. The evening was beautiful and brisk, the wind warm as it brushed through his sheen of black fur. The clan had fallen in numbers, but yet that wasn't something that was necessary to dwell on, not something that his heart should beat for. The living should not continue breathing for the dead; instead, they should breathe for the happiness that they could find on this plane, the merciless elements which the dead surely longed for; driving greenleaf rains, whispering winds, causing grasses to sway peacefully in the meadow. That was all Jetfang needed to live for; the beauty of his life, even after he had lost so much.

And yet there was something else. He had spent that evening hunt in the company of a beautiful female, one with fur the hue of the sun sinking into the water, blazing last light, with eyes as green and fresh as the first buds of newleaf. Flamingarrow had hunted by his side, and she was truly a beauty; but she did not catch his eye. There was another who drew him with curiosity, who's emotions changing and swaying briskly were not a burden to him. He had seen her darkness, gray on the horizon; he had seen her cheerfulness, rising abruptly as a mist to cover depression, to hide it. He was not afraid to mingle with her feelings and try to raise her spirits, because for a reason unknown, he felt he could risk it all just to make her happy.

The hunt had gone well, Jetfang returning with jaws laden with prey. Already he had deposited it on the freshkill pile, glancing around a few times for his apprentice, Gloompaw, and at last settling near his friend, Flamingarrow. Thoughts buzzed in Jetfang's head, and he glanced at the green-eyed warrior for a moment before lifting his mismatched lights to scan the clearing again. Now for Gloompaw, and there was a touch of guilt from the blue and amber eyed tom; he was searching for a different cat, one with icy blue eyes that could display or hide emotion. And perhaps it was luck that that cat was already padding in his direction, that the two were drawn together, but he felt a sudden tinge of shyness, and an awkwardness as he gazed about, near Flamingarrow, and so he dropped his gaze so she wouldn't know he had sighted her as well.

Lilythorn. Jetfang didn't catch the fall in her face, as he lifted his gaze just after that, and soon she was close enough to smell in the richly scented Vertigoclan camp. With all that he had been thinking, and all that had gone on internally, it was a curiosity to his mind that her words were so casual. Still, he warmed to her greeting of 'it's a nice evening, isn't it?' and marveled at the simplicity after all that had happened in the past few moons. "It's a beautiful evening." He agreed, tail curling about his large white paws. Perhaps there was a bit too much merit, too much ember, to the answer. But he wanted to agree with her. Not manipulatively; it was just natural. Besides, Jetfang had to admit, as he swiveled his eyes to take in the cloudless, crystal blue sky; it was a beautiful evening.

"You deserved a rest, Lilythorn..." It was such a lame response. He wished to say something better, that he could give something more meaningful than his smile, but there was a new awkwardness in the air that he didn't realize had ever been there. Perhaps it was simply the presence of others; or the presence of memories, and death... "Are you holding up okay?" He managed to add, in a strong voice, flicking an ear toward her.

[/blockquote]

[lily ♫]

lilythorn**
we cut tires, we tell lies, we hate change,
and we wanna claim where we feel.

After everything that had happened to her, she was choosing now to relax. Hey, it wasn't really that terrible of an idea in the end. Sitting down next to the black and white tom, she smiled a bit. His mew agreed with he first statement, and the deputy purred a bit at his emphasis. It was a peaceful evening for the very dramatic Clan for once. Letting her icy blue gaze peek past Jetfang and rest on the ginger bodice of Flamingarrow, tension built inside the she-cat's stomach. Instantly, her expression dimmed to one of such sadness that Lilythorn couldn't stand it. She'd just allowed herself to rest upon the cool ground, but she jumped back onto her paws, as if struck by an invisible force. Her breathing came in short, hyper bursts. The pure sorrow and mourning irradiating from Flamingarrow was infectious, and Lilythorn's heart ached from just one look up close. "Oh." She breathed, tears so close to pouring down her eyes. 'How can I just shrug it off?' She thought, looking to her paws.

It was foolish of her to think that she was handling these deaths so much more easily than the others. No. The fact was that the death of both Chasmriver and Northwind had put her in shock, and she was nowhere near strong enough to handle any of it. Lilythorn was sick of the sorrow, and she had bundled it up for later, in her endless nightmares that would come for moons. "J-Jet, would you mind taking a short walk? We wouldn't go too far since it's getting dark." Lilythorn asked in reply to his question, desperation inflecting in her tone at certain areas. Emerald eyes met hers and the deputy could only attempt to swallow the emotion rising in her throat. She couldn't be around Flamingarrow so soon, while the wounds in her heart were still so fresh. The bleeding hadn't even started to stop yet, and the blood was nowhere near thickening.

Turning her head to the entrance, the she-cat barely waited for her friend to agree. The deputy couldn't watch any longer. She stepped silently and quickly out of the camp, into the refuge of the high, overbearing pine trees surrounding her. "I..I'm sorry. I thought I was handling this so much better than Abyssbird's death, but I'm not." Cried Lilythorn, tears welling up in her eyes. Comfort. She needed comfort. More now than ever, she needed some cat to be there for her, and she hoped Jetfang would listen. It hurt so much, but she'd only let a little of it out. Enough not to let him be chased away by it all. She'd speak nothing of her past, just the present. Oh, the horrifying ache of the present. "Jet, Chasmriver meant everything in the world to her. Even if he didn't care one lick for her or their kits, she'd always loved him. I can't watch her like that." Her voice cracked during the last statement, and her tears flowed freely down her fallen face, emotion spilling from her soul. Nothing besides her friendships would be casual, easy, and carefree. It'd been so long since she'd been able to live lighthearted as can be.

we take toes, we rake yours, yeah we dig holes,
and we're diggin' right in your fears.

ooc: didn't mean for it to be so outrageous, but flamingarrow is so torn up right now. lily's got to be almost as bad. ;A;

[Dawn]

* JETFANG

[/size][/font]
Like a star that's been lost in the big dark sky at night


It was a peaceful moment, and good to be near her. He had not spent his day longing to see the deputy, knew that because of her position she did not have as much time as she could for him. Still he had wondered, briefly, so as not to get caught up in it, if he would see her today. It was always better that way, if he didn't wonder too much about the future, and tried his hardest not to dwell on the past, Jetfang found. Better just to let the present play out and happen without thought, finding words and emotions as they were appropriate. There was less haunting in his past now, that he had become friends with other spirited warriors and had an apprentice, Gloompaw, to train, and Lionpaw. Now he could find peace. But all was not always so, for he had been close to Northwind, and could not pretend that deaths in the clan did not effect him- especially after he had seen them take their last breaths, fighting to the death at his side.

The large white-footed tom followed her gaze to Flamingarrow, at his other side, and a quiet breath escaped him like a sigh. He ached to comfort her, and Lilythorn, and all of the other cats in the clan that seemed to be drug down by emotions he had faced so long ago... But he couldn't, he couldn't spread himself out, trying to face despair, or he would simply be filled with it himself. As Lilythorn's breaths came quickly, and she looked at her paws. The intense want to say something, anything, to help, hurt his chest. Jetfang decided it was stupid to expect her to be strong through this time, especially when she had all of the going-ons of deputy duties. How could Lynxstar be holding up? No better, he thought. He had seen her eyes after Abyssbird's death. And her losing a life in the battle had torn them all apart, like they were all on separate islands, screaming for someone to help them back, but being pulled farther and farther away...

Jetfang had witnessed what she dreamed at night. His nest had become, mysteriously, closer to her's, and now he found himself in another situation where it was so hard to comfort her... If only the deaths could stop coming and Vertigoclan could move past this time of Death. The weather was right for it. "No, sure, Lilythorn." He murmured a response, at a loss for words. Still, before he had even said this the cream pelted deputy was already padding away at a fast rate. He turned his eyes back to Flamingarrow for a moment, frowned deeply, and then followed Lilythorn at what he hoped looked like an easy trot, but was more of a run of desperation.

She apologized, whether for tearing up or running ahead, when he caught up to her. It didn't matter which, he understood. For a moment he was torn between distance and closeness, confusion dazing him. If he ran away now, it could be disastrous. Her emotions overwhelmed him, reminding him too much of his own, those that he didn't allow himself to show. Could they possibly put all of that down together? No, there's too much... Taking a chance he hoped wasn't too much, he closed the distance and pressed to her side, never loosing his worried amber and blue gaze on her. "There's just so much pain... I- don't know what to do about it..." He paused a moment, but instead of lapsing into thought, decided to continue softly aloud. "It feels like there's nothing left but ruins in Vertigoclan anymore... I keep waiting for a time when--" He nearly said, 'when we can be together,' but choked on it and finished, "When finally we can be happy, but it seems like the bad stuff, the past, will never go away..." The past, the present, the future. They were all so full of things he wished he could foresee or erase. Did Starclan will this suffering on them? Were they powerless to stop the filling of their ranks, and the emptying of his clan's?

[/blockquote]

[lily ♫]

lilythorn**
we cut tires, we tell lies, we hate change,
and we wanna claim where we feel.

He'd said just what he needed to. Words of trying comfort. Jetfang didn't know how to handle it, either, and Lilythorn just kept thrusting it on him without warning. "VertigoClan never has a time of peace. There's either death or drama, and I should be used to that by now. Afterall, I've lived through enough of it to know!" Through the tears, she was actually trying to laugh. And she had. Just a bit of laughter in her purr, choked with tears. Looking to Jet, her icy blue eyes softened. "I'm waiting for that, too." She croaked, fixating her gaze further down him on his furry chest. Without thinking, she was resting her head there, beneath his chin. "It goes away if we start to pretend." Whispered the ginger deputy, wanting everything to fade away except the good times. Reflectedrain and Spellpaw, herself and Jet, all the other cats who couldn't help but try to be happy in the middle of this mess.

Pulling back, she blinked a few times, and looked back up to his mismatched blue and amber eyes. "Jet, I-I don't know why I did that. You're just the only one who will listen. Everyone else feels the same way, but look at Flamingarrow or Gloompaw. They hold it inside." She mewed, turning her neck toward the various hues splayed across the navy and cerulean sky as a bird called from one of the tall pines. "They let it consume them, and I'm not trying to do that this time. Can you tell?" Lilythorn finished her statement, stared back at the tom, and let a half-smile show. "Thanks." The deputy added, a sheepish gleam in her eyes as she flashed her ivory fangs. Birdsong filled the evening air, and there wasn't a single touch of humidity; one of the most blatant signs of summer. It was still just a bit off.

Flicking her ears up at the slightest sound of water babbling against the rocky expanses inside their territory, Lilythorn was reminded how she asked Jetfang to listen to her rant. "So, uh, how 'bout that walk?" She asked, feeling as foolish as a newly made warrior trying to sleep in the apprentice's den. Let them have their peace now, while they could still escape everything else. And right on time. It was what they needed the most now. Being together, even as friends, they were a strong pair and needed a reprieve from the gloom of camp. In time, just as the scent of fear and wolf had faded, so would the sadness. Especially if they could pretend just for a little longer. So they could overlap their happiness with their sadness, like water lapping at a beach, it would surely work.

we take toes, we rake yours, yeah we dig holes,
and we're diggin' right in your fears.

ooc: yaaaaaaaaaay

[Dawn]

* JETFANG

[/size][/font]
Like a star that's been lost in the big dark sky at night


She seemed to be closer to happiness, but her words felt hopeless to him. He had had times of peace; before the wolf appeared, before Shiverpaw disappeared, before the wolf was killed. Everyday there was a little chance to find happiness somehow, even if everything else was in ruins. Jetfang found happiness in Lionpaw and Gloompaw and Lilythorn. He had found happiness in Northwind, and a friend in Flamingarrow. He had deep respect for Lynxstar, possibly the deepest respect for any cat he had known; and someday, maybe, Lilythorn could be the leader she was, someday in the future. But hope for her future meant little of a future with him, and the death of Lynxstar; he didn't want to think of that. Her loss of a life had been terrible enough. "Vertigoclan has had it's share of suffering. But you can't get used to it. Don't get used to it, Lilythorn, expecting bad things to happen. It isn't right." He didn't want her to become grief absorbed, foreseeing the death of all those she cared for. Things would change; if he couldn't change them, he would still try. He owed everything to Vertigoclan.

I'm waiting for that, too. He was surprised at her closeness, but didn't move away, thinking that it was true. Sadness could go away if they pretended together that it wasn't there. It wasn't that easy, though. It was hard to go on pretending, everyday, that everything was fine and nothing bad was ever going to happen again. Still, this was one thing that he could stack against death. Lilythorn. She was... something different, how she tried so hard to be happy. They had become closer friends, through time and difficulty, but had pulled, he noticed, suddenly closer. Like two forces, crashing together. He didn't want her to see this too, to realize this spontaneous change, in part. But Jetfang had seen it and so of course she would have to, and pulled away, looking at him. I know why I did that, though. His fur was warm with some embarrassment, but resisted looking back toward camp, or thinking too much about the change. Instead, he took his own small step back, so that they had the same comfortable space between them. The space that represented their friendship.

Jetfang saw that it wasn't the time to say anything. Sometimes it's easier to hide things inside of us, instead of letting our phantoms consume others... Instead, he let a smile be his response. He didn't notice anything odd about the season, though the world itself felt a bit backward, and as he watched a bird flying across the sky, calling ahead, he wondered if it would fly upside down, or perhaps swoop down and make him the prey. Lilythorn and Jetfang were in silence for a moment, but at last they looked back at each other. A walk. His heartbeat was abnormally fast, and he reminded himself the wolf was gone for good measure, though it didn't slow much. "I don't think a walk could hurt anything, do you?" He meowed, his own fur still warm. Attempting to even out her embarrassment, he mewed, "It's good to be out again, without worrying about the predator." He remembered the last time they had been together in the forest, and wondered how that could have been so long ago.


OOC. xD Yayyyyy.


[/blockquote]

[lily ♫]

lilythorn**
we cut tires, we tell lies, we hate change,
and we wanna claim where we feel.

She couldn't help but let a smile flicker across her face, imprinting it in her ginger fur, flashing her emotion even if only for a few seconds at a time. A walk. It was always as simple as that, wasn't it? Letting out a soft, laughter-laced sigh of emotional exasperation, she let her paws carry her forward a few pawsteps. Jetfang's words comforted her more now than ever, and her wit couldn't resist, oh not this time."A walk'll only hurt our rought little paw pads, Jet." The she-cat prodded, creating a mask of kit-like hurt and raised her thick-as-stone paw and licked it gingerly as if it'd been pierced by a needle. Placing it back down, the deputy couldn't help but fall into a short fit of giggles, nearly throwing her head back in laughter.

Lilythorn tiltied her head to the right, appearing as if she were a carefree apprentice allotted some time off from training and the like. Eyes glowing bright blue as she looked to Jetfang, she turned her face into her shoulder, acting timid. Pulling her head back up to its normal height afterward, she smirked a bit. "Needles don't hurt our ancient pads anymore!" She chimed, scrunching her nose up a bit at the notion of blood spilling because of the pine needles below her that she had grown so accustomed to. "Er, I'm not sure if we're one hundred percent safe from a predator..there might be toms waiting to pounce on me and she-cats waiting to carry you away to their nests." Lilythorn added pointedly, not being serious at all. It was so out of character for her, to flirt, to act like a normal female, to pretend to be a simple warrior again, without the pressures and responsibilities of the Clan weighing down on her.

She looked momentarily to the ground before turning about, tail flicking Jetfang on the nose, her ginger bodice freely moving without stress, looking back toward him with a single front paw raised. "Coming?" Inquired she, looking quizzical and downright funny with her shiny eyes glowing with amusement instead of sorrow for once. Relaxing was good for every cat's soul. "I'm thankful for everything you do for me, and for the entire Clan. You're a warrior that's so worthy of belonging to VertigoClan." Lilythorn mewed, slipping back into her serious ways for just a short moment. A butterfly fluttered nearby, and her visage locked on to it, a sudden desire to leap up at it came over her, and she readied herself to do so. Her rump stuck up high as her front squashed itself down, her tail flicking back and forth before she leaped up, paws just missing the insect as she clasped them together. Lilythorn landed on a harsh tree root, letting out a cry of agony. "Fox...dung..!" She gasped, pain maing her eyes almost explode from their sockets. It was a silly move for a she-cat in a very silly mood.

we take toes, we rake yours, yeah we dig holes,
and we're diggin' right in your fears.

ooc: yeee-owwwchhh on lily's part, LOL. as soon as i started writing, Waking Up started playing on iTunes. It's just...meant to be her theme. xD

[/center][/blockquote][/blockquote]

[Dawn]

* JETFANG

[/size][/font]
Like a star that's been lost in the big dark sky at night


He was more than a little surprised at her sudden change in attitude. Oh, himself and Lilythorn, tonight they were really a whirlwind... Tears, a step forward, laughter, a step back, quite the summer storm they were, with emotions as unpredictable as the weather. One minute it might be raining without a chance of clearing, and then it was shining blithely again. Jetfang cocked his head to the side at her comment that it might hurt their paws, for his own comment had been only to return them to the comfort of friendship, and he hadn't expected her odd response. He continued to gaze at her curiously with an eye that should have been amber but was blue, the other twinkling the color of sunset. Despite his surprise he couldn't help but grin at her laughter, for she was behaving like a cat a lot younger than she was.

At the mention that their paws were ancient, despite being younger than many in the clan, he followed her and flattened his ears a bit to his head. "There's still a lot of life left in our paws, I think." Though it was true that they were quite used to the pine needles; if only they could make their hearts accustomed to Vertigoclan's current situations. He smiled easily, knowing something else would be coming from the suddenly changed deputy's mouth, though not quite sure what to expect. At her comment he laughed. "I don't see many being able to 'carry' me back to their nests without a severe backache!" He responded quietly, amusement tinging his tone. He cast a glance to the side, though, in case said tom-cats were crouching in the bushes, or she-cats were waiting to 'carry' him. It didn't seem too likely that any could persuade him away from this walk with Lilythorn, and if he wasn't going by his own device, he wasn't going to go at all.

Distracted for a second with the familiarity of the warm greenleaf night, he glanced back just as the tip of her cream tail swatted him lightly over his black nose. He picked up his pace to match her's again as she asked whether he was coming or not, his muscles relaxed as he padded at the deputy's side. Her praise was equally as unexpected, and he tried to find a response as she suddenly became involved in a game of chase with a bright winged creature. It was interesting to see the small indigo butterfly out when it was growing dim in the sky, perhaps some kind of good fortune. Moments too late, Jetfang noticed the tree roots nearby, which would be of some peril, for his eyes had just left her as she leaped for it, and in a quick movement returned. She landed on the root and let out a cry, and he echoed her curse quietly. "Mouse tails, Lilythorn! You- Are you alright?" Startled, the large black and white tom moved to stand near her again, ready to help her back to camp if she had hurt anything. She'll be lucky if she doesn't pull a muscle, leaping about like that! Still, he was glad that the two had managed to emotionally escape their clan, if only for a brief time. Some of the mental hurt had been washed away by this, even if physical pain had taken it's place.

OOC. Aww, poor Lilythorn. x'3
[/blockquote]

[lily ♫]

lilythorn**
we cut tires, we tell lies, we hate change,
and we wanna claim where we feel.

Pain shot through her shoulder, its epicenter along the line of the ragged root still beneath it. Clenching her teeth down, the creamy-ginger deputy slowly rolled over, hissing in pain as she jerked the joint in what would have previously been a normal fashion. All whimpering aside, Lilythorn was in real pain. Lying on her back, her icy blue eyes flashed fear at Jetfang, but she shut them only seconds later. It was all she had not to yowl out in absolute agony, but part of her knew that was what an apprentice might do and Jetfang might just fall down in a faint. Relief came over her in waves as she felt most of the pain begin to subside, and she let out a stressed sigh that may or may not have been a gasp to begin with. 'See? You're fine, girl. It was just initial pain from the impact, that's all.' Lilythorn soothed herself, silently. Flicking her eyes open, her face contained a bemused expression, and her cream and ginger maw fell open. "No more chasing butterflies for me, huh?" She mewed, allowing a laugh to escape her tensed body only to wince in pain.

Rolling over, she hissed air out between her teeth, ready to topple back down if she couldn't bear the weight of her own body. To her imense and incessant relief, the pain was entirely tolerable. No long-term injury after all. Standing still, if not a bit shaky, she turned her neck back behind her and smiled at Jet. "Everything's good." She informed him, though silently adding a 'for now.' It'd be swollen later, and she'd have to ask the medicine cat for a few poppyseeds to ease her into sleep. Otherwise, the deputy would be fine. Letting out a dramatic and joking puff of air, she twirled about on her paws, turning slowly about to face Jetfang."I believe it's your turn to be entertaining." The she-cat teased and couldn't help but smile a bit. Steps weren't too bad, so she'd urge the obsidian and ivory tom that they could continue their walk.

Lilythorn led on through the pines, keeping most weight off of her front right leg, but doing a good job of it. Afterall, what were her other three legs there for? The falling light was quickly fading into darkness, and soon twilight would be upon them, whisking the cats away into nighttime. "You aren't afraid of the dark, are you, Jet?" She purred, curling her tail just a bit as it flailed aimlessly behind her, trying hard to keep the clumsy she-cat on all fours. Looking to the tom as he stepped in time beside her, she gave him a skeptical look. "Oh, do stop looking at me as if I'm a wounded badger in the middle of camp! I'm fine, honestly." Lilythorn exclaimed, pausing for a moment beside him. "You worry far too much." She declared, but couldn't help but look at the needles on the forest floor. "I do too, though, so I suppose you're not the only one." Usually she was only talkative in a large group of cats, but Lilythorn was proving wrong. She'd probably talk Jetfang's ear off until he grew deaf from it all.

we take toes, we rake yours, yeah we dig holes,
and we're diggin' right in your fears.

ooc: yaaaa, stupid girl. xD

[/center][/blockquote][/blockquote]

[Dawn]

* JETFANG

[/size][/font]
Like a star that's been lost in the big dark sky at night


He was extremely frightened by her appearance, on her back, expression pained, and had to remind himself that it was her not him because within he was in a state of panic. It was terrible to have to worry about someone else so much that your worry for them overshadowed yourself. He hadn't realized things were like that with him and Lilythorn until right then. But they were just friends, weren't they? Get things straight, Jet'! She's the deputy, I can't possibly think that we could ever be more... And what about me? There wasn't anyone else, of course. There was Shivermoon, but she was dead, dead, dead, and it was about damn time he accepted that. Even if she's not dead... she's not coming back.

Just as Jetfang was about to speak, her eyes flashed open, a melted ice color, and she laughed. It was almost as though she had tricked him, a kit playing dead for her brother. But the pain that Lilythorn experienced had been real, he could tell that. There was no anger, only worry for her condition. "You spend ages dreaming up ways to frighten me, don't you, Lilythorn?" He asked lightly, whiskers twitching. The big shadow colored tom flicked his tail, shot her a slightly stern but amused look as she smiled at him, then faced him. He really had thought they should turn back. Usually he wasn't that much of a push over, but with the cream colored female, he simply wanted to follow her. It would probably be the end of him, at some point. The warrior imagined their conversation in his head, and what would happen. Jet? Don't you think the lake at the bottom of this cliff is lovely? Yes, he'd respond, but... Well, let's take a stroll right over the edge! And, of course, he would. Jetfang was like that, sometimes.

"Oh, me? I'm not the best entertainment, if you haven't noticed. The last time I was out training with Gloompaw, I was afraid he might die from boredom, and then Lynxstar would have me as an apprentice!" As she took the lead he kept up with her, lingering on that thought only a moment, always walking at her side but never ahead of her. It wasn't forced due to her pain, just a friendly pace that had been kept up the night through. Before he could voice his doubts, as they slipped, shadowlike, into the deepening twilight, she questioned him. Jetfang glanced at the darkened path ahead. "Perhaps just a little." He grinned, though an uneasy glint was still in his eye about her condition. What Lilythorn didn't know was how many times he had been out in the dark forest before, if only to calm his mind and inflamed senses. For him, it was a comfort.

A low purr rumbled in his throat as she paused to look at him, a bit annoyed, it seemed. A wounded badger? Never! More like a lovely flower with thorns for petals, as your name might suggest. "How can you tell that that's the exact way I'm looking at you?" His amber and blue eyes glinted with humor in the dim forest light. "Maybe I was just looking past you, at that Tempestclan warrior skulking in the shadows..." He murmured in a whisper near her ear, then laughed to prove that it was only a joke to follow up her 'are you scared of the dark?' question.
[/blockquote]

[lily ♫]

lilythorn**
we cut tires, we tell lies, we hate change,
and we wanna claim where we feel.

Ow. Ouch. Ooh. Oh StarClan. Every step she took was starting to make her shoulder ache, but that wasn't too odd. Almost all of her had been sore lately, and it couldn't just be from overwork. Afterall, Lilythorn had been taking a bit easy, so maybe she should have been sore from overwork. Mentally making a note to be more active in the ongoings in the Clan, the she-cat rolled her eyes at Jetfang. "I spend at least a day and a half on each little thing I do. It's all planned out. Especially falling back there. I've had that plotted out for moons, Jet." She informed him enthusiastically, acting as if her words were a piece of fresh-kill she was rolling around in dirt, but in this case the dirt was good ol' sarcasm. Her jaws locked themselves tightly together as she bit back a yawn. Eyes watering as they saw more and more in the low light of the evening, the deputy began to feel exhaustion creeping closer to her. It was imminent, but not now! She was having a bit of fun for the first time in moons. Relaxing was nice until you fell asleep.

Pain or no pain, Jetfang's voice thrummed in her ears, and she listened to his story intently, with a smile gracing her creamy ginger face. "I think Lynxstar would rather eat you first than make you her apprentice, Jet." She purred back to him, looking at him affectionately with her icy blue eyes. Something inside her felt different. Free, almost, and it was something she wasn't supposed to feel. Crumpling her face up in confusion, Lilythorn couldn't put her paw on it. Then it came to her. She stopped walking. Her body tensed. And her eyes closed. No. She wasn't supposed to feel like that. She was deputy. This couldn't happen, and it hadn't. It hadn't for so many seasons, and it couldn't. Not now. And most certainly not like this. Everything stopped around her. It was just the ginger femme and her thoughts, her oh so agonizing thoughts. But it was still there, even as she denied its ability to formulate. It was there and it wasn't going away. "No!" The deputy whispered, eyes flying open. His face. It was concerned. He must think she'd finally felt the pain from her injury.

His last words processed through her mind. She'd even put Jetfang on hold in those few moments. A TempestClan warrior? Oh, how the memories flooded back into her mind. He didn't know, did he? Could he? No one knew, only Flamingarrow, and that'd been during a bad, bad day when she hadn't been able to handle it that she'd told her young friend. Oh, no, no, no. "Please. Stop looking at me." Lilythorn begged, hurt in her soft meow, and tears almost ready to flood down her face. It hurt, it ravaged her, it took advantage of her. She couldn't stop the memories, nor could she stop her feelings. Agony. That's what it was. Her throat hurt and she hadn't even started sobbing yet. "I'm so sorry, Jet." Were her last words before she began running toward camp, ignoring everything around her. Just as she approached the dark, covered area that held the cats of her Clan, that the crickets began their widespread symphony. Lilythorn felt suffocated, surrounded by watchful, malice-filled eyes. The tears started and they didn't stop. Neither did that feeling. That damn feeling of love.

ooc: it's time for jet to find out about lily's past. flamingarrow/jet thread next. C: playing her is so much easier now that i know she's not headed toward a dead end with him still. <3

[Dawn]

* JETFANG

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Like a star that's been lost in the big dark sky at night


He grinned, not a bit of it forced. Her 'revelation' that she had plotted the fall amused him, his tail swishing through the night air and perhaps hurrying a moth away from the two felines. They were indeed close, shadows bringing the cats who were near opposites in color together. Closer than ever before, it seemed... But what did it matter? They were just good friends. Jetfang silently reassured himself that he simply had odd thoughts sometimes. Dreams of the past, hopes and expectations for the future... But he had no right with those expectations. He could never, surely, never, live up to them. Someday, Lilythorn, you'll be Lilystar... But I'll just be glad to share a patrol with you, even if we can't share anything else. It was terrible, the way he felt at that moment. Lilythorn being a deputy was almost as bad as if she was a medicine cat, forbidden ever to-- No. No, it wasn't like that. Forbidden to love? He couldn't help but let that slip to himself, the finishing of his thoughts. But he was so puzzled, so confused. Friendship had never felt so hard for him before. He was a favorite among the apprentices, had a lot of affection for his own apprentice, was very close to Crowpaw, and Flamingarrow, and just all of his clanmates in general. It had never been difficult to separate his feelings with them. When he walked beside the lovely flame pelted she-cat, Lilythorn's close friend, he never wondered if there was anything there besides a caring friendship. There was nothing else there for them, he could never feel anything else. But with the ginger deputy at his side, their paws matching step for step...

Normally he would have commented enthusiastically on her verbal image of Lynxstar's preferences. It was quite likely what she said was true. But now, his head buzzed seemingly with too many thoughts, and he couldn't even quite picture Lynxstar mentoring him, a fully grown warrior, or even the former, making a meal of him. It felt both wrong and right, though, when he turned and met her affectionate gaze, a genuine purr escaping her. Gazing back, Jetfang could make only a murmur of agreement to her comment. His conversational value was gone, now. They were in deep water, far out of the shallows where friendship had begun. Earlier, they had been standing near the middle, but now he was on the edge, and one pawstep closer and they would both go tumbling over. It should have been no surprise, then, when she pulled back, reeled away from him before their fur could touch and the connection could be sealed forever. Before their fates could be chosen, a fate that could only bring suffering for both of them. Why us, Lilythorn? At her soft 'No!' he could only drop his gaze, fear and pity for them both flickering there, so that she could not see what he felt so clearly, so that perhaps she might think it was only fear for her injury, concern for her pain... When she seemed to stiffen, then, he looked at her, his eyes flashed back to her's.

Please. Stop looking at me. She seemed ashamed, and he looked away, hurt faintly. Why had he allowed this, when he should have seen it all along? How could he have wanted to grow closer to her, feeling only friendship, how could he have slept at her side in the twilight? How could Jetfang have let himself fall so stupidly into his own heart's trap again? Curse me, and curse us both for what we cannot escape... But she made the choice, she escaped from that moment. The deputy turned and fled, leaving him with an empty, meaningless apology. Though Lilythorn was already gone, he stared after her, burning blue and amber eyes seeing nothing but shadows and moonlight in her place. Though she was already gone, he wanted to keep walking anyway, holding her memory by his side instead of the nothingness that was there now. Though she had run and wasn't coming back, he knew, Jetfang spoke anyway. "I'm sorry too, Lilythorn."

OOC. Heehehe, so dramatic. I love them. c: I'll be glad for the Flaming-Jet role play, too.






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[LYNX ♥]

xx closed
this thread is finished!