half the time the world is ending (jetthorn/open)

[Dawn]

  half the time the world is ending
truth is i am done pretending

  The trees stood tall above Jetfang as he looked up at them in frustration, cursing some unseen being over the cry of his retreating prey. After the events of late in Timberclan, he wasn't sure he even believed in Starclan anymore. There was one very good thing that had happened in Timberclan however. About three moons ago his mate, Lilythorn, had given birth to their three sons, Pallidkit, Thunderkit, and Hazelkit. Jetfang had never been so happy in his life. After seemingly misfortune after misfortune, finally something... light had come to pass. Something not gloomy and heavy as he had come to expect. A life of loss had caused the black and white warrior to become somewhat cynical and brooding, in the presence of all but beautiful Lilythorn. When he had come to be close to the then-deputy of his clan, his whole world had been turned upside down. In some ways this was good, and in others, unfortunate. But now everything had come together, as had they, and they had made a family together. They had become each other's family. That was all he had ever wanted.

    Well, it would also have been nice to have a hunting buddy, too. That was the downside of kits. Lilythorn was always in the nursery, looking after them, instead of out messing around with him. It made Jetfang realize that he really needed to make more friends. It was too easy for him to get wrapped up in his own head when he was alone, and Lilythorn couldn't be with him all the time (as wonderful as that likely would have been). He had asked (okay, maybe begged a bit) her this morning if she would go out hunting with him. But of course, she had to be with the kids. Pallidkit needed her, Thunderkit had a thorn in his paw, etc etc, it was always something. Jetfang rolled his eyes to himself. His own kids were his greatest competitor for his mate's attention. Get a grip. You're out here to hunt, not sulk. 


    Shaking his head in hopes of clearing it, Jetfang began to scan the trees for birds that hadn't been scared away by his failed catch from earlier. "I still wish Lilythorn were here," Jetfang muttered aloud, pouting.

[lily ♫]

for the first time in her life, with her second litter of kits, lilythorn could experience motherhood. the mewling little lifeforms breathed softly against her pelt as they tripped about over one another and scrabbled for food. they were three moons old now, and hardly a moment had passed that she had been able to get away from them. not that she wanted to, really, but she missed hunting and the territory, and of course, she missed jet. she marveled at his patience as a father, with both her and the kits. truly, she knew that he missed her, and that he spent too much time sulking, but if he didn't sulk, he wouldn't be, well, jet, to her. he appreciated her, especially so with her absence in the rest of his life, the life he was able to lead outside of the nursery. despite being confined to camp, lilythorn, for the most part, was happy. really, how could she not be?

but it was that afternoon that jetfang had finally caved. he'd asked her to join him in a hunt, and she'd given him a look, raising her brow with a bit of scolding in her eyes, and it was if she'd struck him. he'd begun to plead, and then he'd begged, and lilythorn's very soul ached for him. she loved him, and incredibly so, and not a day went by that she ever regretted giving up her position. if only something could be done to please him, to restore her companionship and return to his side, where she longed to be.

as if answering her unsaid prayers to starclan, a fiery red cat had stumbled into the nursery, her glowing green eyes flashing with adoration as they swept across the three kits at the creamy ginger former deputy's side. "they're so lovely, lilythorn." flamingstar murmured quietly, and lilythorn flicked her tail amiably. "they are, aren't they?" the queen mused aloud, poking at their sleeping forms with her slightly rosy nose. pallidkit's pale form rolled over, his eyes flicked open, and his tail poofed out as a yawn escaped from his tiny jaws. the kit looked up at flamingstar, who smiled warmly at him, and he let out a pathetic mew to alert his brothers they had a visitor. "w-well wake u-up, guys!

[/i]" the tom mewled loudly, and lilythorn purred as the other two, thunderkit and hazelkit, were roused by their brother. the three greeted flamingstar with excitement, and the fiery female purred with amusement at them.

[/span]lilythorn looked to flamingstar with wide, innocent eyes. "auntie flamingstar has a mission for you kits. you're to follow her about camp until i return and help her with the her leadership tasks." the queen explained quickly, before flamingstar could slip away. the kits cheered and fell over one another, and lilythorn stood and quickly exited the nursery, the young she-cat not missing a beat. "lily! i never said anything -[/i]" she was hushed by lilythorn's fluffy tail against her maw. "[/span]i," she started, "am going hunting with jetfang. and," she paused again, "i'm sure if you have any problems, garnetbone will gladly assist you. maybe teach reflectedrain how to deal with kits. we all know he's going to end up with a few someday." lilythorn mused, her whiskers twitching. "i need an escape, and you are the key to it."

- - -

freedom! the wind was in her pelt, the trees swayed above her, and birdsong filled her ears to the brim. her feet crunched quietly over the leaflitter strewn about the forest floor, and the scent of pine flooded her senses. as she stopped to take in everything around her (she shivered with how lovely it all felt), the musky scent of jetfang hit her, and she purred quickly as she darted off to find where the tom was pouting. her stalking was rusty, and her tracking skills weren't the best anymore, but somehow she'd remained downwind of him, so her arrival would indeed still be a surprise. a grin darted across her features as she caught his sulky mew in her ears, and she giggled, leaping out from behind a bush that had blocked her from view. "here i am, the answer to all your prayers." the creamy ginger she-cat mewed sassily and with a wink, waiting for his reaction.[/div][/span][/blockquote][/blockquote][/blockquote][/blockquote]

ooc: i have no clue what the heck the coding did and i'm too lazy to care SORRY

[Dawn]

everything will change
but love remains the same

    Completely oblivious to his cream-coated stalker, Jetfang had gone about looking for prey, although his heart wasn't really in it. He was in one of his moods, and he almost couldn't be bothered to care about the damn birds or feeding himself. His stomach growled vaguely in response to that thought, but he hardly felt the pang. It was more difficult to work up the motivation to hunt alone when it was greenleaf and prey was abundant. The clan wasn't starving or in desperate need; therefore he didn't feel that returning to camp successful was that urgent. He supposed that such an attitude was nothing to be proud of, but pride wasn't really something that mattered to him right now either. Mostly, he just wanted to find somewhere dark to sulk to himself. Typical angsty Jetfang.

    Just as he had voiced his complaint for all to hear, a bush nearby twitched ever so slightly causing him to snap his head in that direction. "Hey!", the tom exclaimed irritably, bi-colored eyes narrowing before he realized that it was Lilythorn. "Here I am, the answer to all your prayers." Immediately dropping his sour look, he exclaimed, "Lilythorn!" Jetfang blinked at the pretty she-cat. "Are you real? Am I imagining this? Team mom, out in the forest...?" He broke off swiftly and glanced around, hoping against hope he wouldn't see any tiny bundles about her feet, out to "explore" with Flamingstar's permission. "-without her kits?" He grinned at her and dropped the game, looking at her sort of dumbly. God, he loved her. "You're right, this is the answer to all of my prayers." He stepped closer to her and nuzzled her for a moment. "You're really here," Jetfang murmured gratefully. 

    After how dramatic he had been, Jetfang added apologetically, "Sorry, it just seems like it's been so long since we had some time... alone." He winked at her. "It's hard to believe I'm a dad now. I feel so... old." 

[lily ♫]

between her lips a peal of laughter appeared, slipping out as jetfang blinked at her dumbfoundedly. "oh, no, i'm really here." the purr rumbled delicately in her throat, bubbling out of her as though her happiness had been uncorked. "they're with flamingstar, actually." lilythorn replied, shaking her head as she chuckled at herself. it wouldn't do to tell him that she'd forced the kits upon the other she-cat, but it was amusing all the same. she accepted his nuzzle warmly, planting a firm touch of her nose to his forehead, and licking one of his ears where his black fur was a little scruffy. as she pulled back, her eyes lit up, glittering with all the hope she had, and with the appreciation she had for him. her icy blue eyes were half-reflected by his gaze, amber hues in the other, and that multi-colored gaze was embedded in her mind for the rest of her life.

his words were dramatic, and her eyes rolled skyward, yet she paused and thanked starclan for him. he was ridiculous sometimes, yes, but so was she. her mood swings at her worst had been like night and day. that lilythorn, the one that had yet to step down and accept his affections, would pull him closer and closer only to push him away and strengthen the distance between them. her dramatics had only heightened his own, and lilythorn had been convinced that she would drive him entirely to insanity, and she worried then that she'd go insane herself, continually fearing that she'd send him off a metaphoric edge. the last thing she'd wanted in her life was to hurt this tom that loved her so selflessly, so strongly, and so incredibly truly. her reciprocation, she knew, had been coming, but even though she'd seen it a long time coming, it surprised her the very first day those butterflies appeared, and when she had awakened the next day to them being amplified, she'd already grown addicted. her decision had been halfway made then, back before she'd even considered giving up being deputy.

"it has." lilythorn mused aloud, giggling at his wink. "i feel as though we've had only a few heartbeats to ourselves in the last seasons." she chuckled lightly, her tail sweeping against the ground as she sat upright, her paws together in front of her fluffy bodice. "and i'm a mother." she said in disbelief. "the fact that i get to enjoy it is what is so surprising to me..." lilythorn muttered quietly, looking distant before snapping back up at him. "i'm happy! i'm beyond happy. it's incredible!" she exclaimed. "you are old now, aren't you...?" she teased in a serious voice, trying to keep the amusement out her voice.

[Dawn]

too much time, too long defending
you and i are done pretending

    Jetfang couldn't help but marvel at the sound of her laughter. It was so beautiful, she was so beautiful. To others he had always been sort of a depressing, stoic cat but she brought out his dramatic flair. Lilythorn made life so exciting, so worthwhile. He hardly had time anymore to dwell on the negative. Every day with her was a gift, and he wasn't sure that he deserved it, but damned if he was going to let anyone stop them from being together now. They had been kept separate for so long, for so many reasons, by so many things. It was too much to go a single day now without her knowing that he was hers, for as long as she would tolerate his grouchy butt. "Flamingstar, eh?" It seemed to be a little private joke with her, so he chuckled too, imagining the fire furred leader with their sons. "They couldn't be in better paws, then," he paused and added, "Other than your own, of course." 

    On that note, Jetfang flattened his ears slightly and confided, "Sometimes, I'm still terrified that I'm going to squish them or accidentally sit on them or something..." He realized how stupid he sounded, and tried to compensate by saying, "They're just so small! And I'm so big! " He seemed to succeed only in sounding more like an idiot, so he shut his mouth for a moment and just admired her blue eyes as she looked at him. 

    "We haven't spent half as much time together as I'd like," he agreed, stopping short of saying that he wished they could be together all the time, since that seemed a little screwed up. At her remark about enjoying being a mother, he frowned a bit sadly, glad he hadn't continued, and gave her a moment. Lilythorn needed her space, just as much as he needed time with her, and he wished he'd realized that sooner. It had hurt, how she'd pushed him away again and again, but perhaps he'd only been too close, too fast. Suffocating her. 

    "You are old now, aren't you?" He took her serious tone for a question and felt his fur prickle with embarrassment. "I can't even remember how old I am," Jetfang admitted. "That must mean I'm really getting old." Mimicking her serious voice, he mewed half thoughtfully, "I suppose I'll be retiring to the elder's den soon... grumping at apprentices as they clean the ticks from my fur, and brooding over the good ole days."

[lily ♫]

thinking about flamingstar and kits brought back memories of the time when flamingstar had been blessed with her own kits, though her circumstances then had made her miserable, and the kits, one by one, had met their untimely ends. she frowned slightly at the memory, though felt comforted that flamingstar had grown from the experience, while lilythorn herself, upon losing her kits many moons ago, had not grown but been hindered by the experience. all the same, lilythorn was happy now, and that was what mattered. with an amused mrrow, lilythorn snorted at jetfang. "my paws are pretty clumsy, i must admit. flamingstar is younger and probably gentler because she doesn't know the strength of our kits." she meowed proudly, thinking of the fine warriors they would someday be.

"oh, jet! that's silly, really. they'll tell you if you're hurting them." she chuckled at his sheepishness before narrowing her eyes at him slyly. "and if you play a little rough, there's a momma right here that would let you know, tough guy." the creamy ginger teased, tutting at him as though he were an apprentice. as he mentioned that he couldn't remember his eyes, she too tried to recall her own age. she looked at him, surprised. "i'd tease you for it, but in these last hectic moons, i'm afraid i've too lost count! i know the kits are three moons, but how many moons ago was the wolf? or even lynxstar's death? my, i can't remember at all!" her voice rose as she realized just how much her life had been changing, and so quickly! she was amazed, but fear swept over her. how long would it be before she began to forget? would she forget the faces of all her friends? of all those that had been slain or had left? those that had fought so bravely and been all that they could be. and what had made her special? why was she still around? the thoughts hit her hard and heavy, and she exhaled sharply, shaking her head. "oh, jet, i don't want to think about aging." she said grumpily, mirroring him for once.

she leaned into him, needing the comfort of his touch as she tried to dispell the terrible thoughts that had flooded her. "oh, nonsense! the only thing you've got is seniority, and don't you grumble at the apprentices already?" lilythorn cried, shaking her head and half-nuzzling him. the she-cat sniffed the air before tucking her nose into his pelt and inhaling his scent. "merhbe et wurnt beh sher bied, grrrin eld whi yu" she mumbled into his coat.

[Dawn]

too much time, too long defending
you and i are done pretending

   "Your paws, clumsy?"  Jetfang smiled, thinking of their many tumbles among the pine needles, Lilythorn going this way and that, paws everywhere as she tried to get a hold on him. "Don't be silly, you have the grace of a Starclan warrior," he mewed, in a voice that made it clear he was sucking up to her. Their kits were growing strong, and fast, too. It was really something to him- he'd been expecting a disaster from the very beginning. In fact, from the time his mate went into labor until the kits were about two moons old, he'd been in full panic mode. What if they got hurt? What if they ran off and got eaten by a fox? What if another wolf came to the forest? What if twolegs attacked? What if they got sick? He'd spent much of his time freaking out about these and many more concerns. What was even to be done for a kit that turned out to be blind? And yet, all three of their sons had opened their eyes, and walked, and ate, and grew, and they were healthy. To Jetfang, it was an absolute miracle. To the medicine cat, Arcticlight, it was just another litter of kits. She'd chided him, saying that there was no cause to stand guard outside of the nursery, nor pace near by night and day. But what if a badger had attacked his family, and no one had been there to stop the monster?

    Jetfang wanted to protest, "What if they were asleep and couldn't tell me that I was crushing their tiny skulls?" but he bit his tongue and tried to quell the anxiety. Lilythorn was right, of course. "You're so much better at this whole parenting thing than me." He nuzzled her, adding, "I knew you would make a great mom." 

    Her question about the wolf almost brought his fear flooding back, but he made himself look at her, whole and unharmed. That calmed him. "I don't know. It seems like a lifetime ago, doesn't it?" The thought made him sad. "I don't want to think about it either. I don't want to be sad anymore." The black and white tom pressed back against her. He wanted nothing more than to grow old with her, and watch their sons grow into strong warriors. He wanted to watch Flamingstar grow more and more strong as she led the clan, and he wanted to watch Timberclan return to its long ago glory. "I want nothing more, Lily. I've never wanted anything more in my entire life." He thought about his grumpiness of late. "Even if I do growl at the apprentices and have to have mouse bile in my fur, everything will be perfect as long as I have you." 


        

[lily ♫]

she rolled her eyes, though she blushed all the same. "remember that one time i twisted my paw and we had to cut our hunting trip short? we'd hardly even started!" the she-cat mewed exasperatedly, though her whiskers twitched with amusement. "i'm a klutz, jet, and we can't do anything about it." she admitted, shaking her head at herself. "if i ever tumble recklessly to my death, don't tell the kids, alright? make up something graceful and full of bravery. like 'her paws danced as she slashed and slashed, but the fox just overwhelmed her.'" it was a joke, really, but she didn't want her kits to think she was a total klutz. at least not yet! they had many moons left to think that she was the greatest thing out there before reality sunk in and they could fully see her flaws.

"oh hush," she murmured quietly, her cheeks ablaze once more. "i knew you'd make a great mom too." lilythorn replied swiftly, bumping into him before a strange look came across her face. "dad. you're a great dad. that's what i meant, i promise!" she cried, laughter bubbling up from inside her. tears wetted the corners of her eyes as she broke through the very fine barrier between laughing and all out guffawing. "i'm tired, can you tell? all that time spent in the nursery laying about being attacked really drains you."

"i wonder how many lifetimes, if there is such a thing, that we would end up together. would it be all of them? or would some of them have us end up with others, only to discover too late that we'd found each other, and we could only resort to friendship." lilythorn meowed quite profoundly, surprising herself as she admired his handsome face and the silky sheen of his pelt. "i don't think i could ever just be friends with you. not in any lifetime." she murmured softly, looking away at the rest of the forest. "i wonder if chasmfang had lived, what would have happened. my life would have been so different. i don't think i loved him enough though, because i wouldn't have given up the deputyship for him." her voice was firm, though light, as she thought of the other world that she could have lived in. "he would have wanted to keep the kits, too, even if they'd not been his and that wretched tom's. i'd have told him eventually. starclan, he'd have known." she shook her head, thinking about how stubborn the tom would have been anyway. "i think he would have strayed, and i'd have let him." she looked sideways at jet. "don't get any ideas, sweet. we're in for the long haul, whether you like it or not." she purred after she said the words, headbutting him lightly in the shoulder. "our darling kits are mine and yours, and i love you aboveall. just...don't tell the kits that. they might get jealous of dear old dad."

she smirked. "oh, you want me, eh? i'd like to wait a few moons before we have any more kits, mind you. let's get them to be halfway through their apprenticeships, then we can do some thinking." the creamy ginger replied, winking slyly at him. "i'm sure i'll start growling at them someday too. you've rubbed off on me, y'know that?" she teased warmly, knocking into his side to see if she could get him off balance. of course, she tripped over her own paws, but she did manage to catch herself. "oh yes, look how perfect i am," she said, laughing. "you're pretty perfect too, mister jetfang."