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Post by lionpaw on Aug 7, 2011 22:21:25 GMT -5
[ooc] I'd like to apologize in advance if this post is lacking. :C I am also sorry if there are a million typos having to do with the letter 'E'. The key has been sticking lately.
When you were standing in the wake of devastation
when you were waiting on the edge of the unknown
with the cataclysm raining down, insides crying save me now
you were there and possibly alone.
This was it. She stood beneath the large stone, looking up at it like she had for long, looking in wonder at the immense power of the perch, all those times wondering what it would be like to stand there. She still wondered what it would be like. The flame point feline's heart pounded and her chest was tight with the urge to fold in on herself. How could Cometstar name her deputy, believe in her as if she were made to be deputy? How could he just up and disappear during some of the darkest days CelestialClan had seen in moons? The she-cat blinked hard and looked down at her paws, heaving a breath to calm herself. Stop questioning it Titianfoot. This is your destiny now. she told herself. Your Clan needs you. The thought of CelestialClan, the one true love in her life that would never fail her, she looked up at the stone. Her face was that of grim determination, a knowledge that no matter how much the Clan doubted her, no matter how much she doubted herself, she was all CelestialClan had other than Fawndance.
The deputy crouched, bunched her powerful muscles, and sprung from the sandy earth of camp and onto the stone. She gasped when she didn't quite make it, surprise at the unexpected height of the pedestal. Her claws sprung out to hold herself onto the rough rock, and a wave of hopelessness swept over her. Tears of frustration sprung to her blue eyes as her back claws scraped against the stone to push herself upwards, but she kept slipping. If you can't even make it to where a leader stands, what do you think you're doing trying to lead the Clan? she spat bitterly at herself in her head. She squeezed her eyes shut as she fell back onto the sand, her heart thumping hard in her chest. She looked down at the ground and struggled to recompose herself, feeling more overwhelmed than she ever had in her life. She couldn't even remember being this afraid when she was to face a world without her mother and father. CelestialClan was unwillingly depending on her - they didn't even want her as deputy! - and here she was asserting control over cats that didn't want her. You're pathetic Titianfoot! she snapped at herself. You have no business as a leader. Just resign now and pick someone else to step in your place until Cometstar gets back. It'll make everyone's lives easier.
Titianfoot dug her claws into the soft ground, her shoulders heaving with her inner struggle. "I say these words before the body of Shiverleaf, that the spirits of our warrior ancestors may hear and approve of my choice. The new deputy of Celestialclan will be Titianfoot!" The words echoed in her mind, the look of faith and pride in her leader's face forever etched in her head. How could she let him down? Not only did her leader believe in her, but the tom she loved believed in her. How could she insult him by giving up? How could she insult herself? She took a few deep breaths, wishing more than anything that she were allowed to visit the moonpool herself and consult with her ancestors. StarClan, give me strength. she prayed silently. With renewed determination, the deputy lifted her eyes to look up at the stone. She crouched low, her muscles bunched tight - and she leaped. She cleared the distance and height effortlessly, landing on top of the stone with a kind of strength that wasn't there before. CelestialClan needs me. she told herself firmly.
Already some noticed her leap on to the stone and were curiously if not defiantly coming her way. Address Copperclaw. she reminded herself, her stomach twisting in a knot at the painful reminder that Copperclaw was dead. She felt even worse when she realized she would have to address Cometstar's absence as well. Cometstar, where have you gone? With a determined flick of her tail, she raised her blue eyes and stood tall. Until Cometstar returned, she had to act as leader. She had no other choice - CelestialClan needed a leader. "All cats old enough to catch their own prey gather for a Clan Meeting!" she called to the Clan that was all in camp for the evening. She almost expected her voice to come out more as a squeak, but it rang strong and clear across the sandy hallow they called home. She felt a kind of assurance settle over her, as if StarClan was surrounding her, backing her up. She would be okay.
CelestialClan would be okay.
And in the burst of light that blinded every angel
as if the sky had blown the heavens into stars
you felt the gravity of temper grace falling into empty space
no one there to catch you in there arm.
-Iredescent by Linkin Park |
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Post by Dusk on Aug 9, 2011 20:29:51 GMT -5
Fawndance
Is there anything I can do for you, dear?
Is there anyone i should call?
It wasn't healthy to brood. Brooding just made for greater stress and anger, not to mention in kept others from wanting to help you. She'd said so to dozens of cats in her forward way of giving advice. And yet there she was, in her den. Brooding. 'Such a hypocrite.' The medicine cat gave a wry smile at the thought, green eyes flashing in some sort of twisted amusement at the irony. What kind of healer couldn't even follow their own advice? A healer that was apparently still good enough at her job to have kept at it for near fifty moons with few problems. There were problems enough now, though. Problems which she knew not how to deal with. A missing leader? In all her time serving Celestialclan she'd never seen a leader go missing for so long. A few days, yes, when they had some private business to attend to, but never for moons at a time. The rumors were beginning to get out of hand, but there was nothing she could say or do besides appear calm and show her clanmates that life went on regardless of missing leaders. What else could she do? Lie? Go mystic on them and say that - through Starlcan - she knew everything would be alright? No. That would never do. The smile fell from her maw to be replaced with a grimace, pearly teeth gritted in frustration. Starclan had been utterly mute ever since Cometstar's disappearance. No messages, no dreams. Not the slightest, minuscule sign from the warriors in the stars. So what did that mean? Was Cometstar alright, just held up by something? She couldn't imagine there being no sign if their leader needed replacement.
The entire situation was wearisome to an older she-cat like herself. Old bones only withstood so much strain. Cometstar was only part of the problem; there was Copperclaw's death to consider too. If anything else went wrong the clan would start muttering about damnation by Starclan. She couldn't help but admit her relief that no cats had come to her with questions yet, Fawndance hadn't the slightest idea what she'd say once -"if" wasn't an option, the inquiries would come up sooner or later - the questions started. 'A medicine cat wondering what's safe to say to her clan, what's the world come to?' Her sorrel furred head gave an unasked for shake. The she-cat truly wanted to go to that stone-studded spring that lay near the glacier, lap up a few droplets and demand answers from her ancestors. Even if they forced her out of her dreams at first, she'd persist until they gave an acceptable response; if the higher ups were wise they'd give her answers quickly rather than make the mistake of dealing with her tenacity. She couldn't leave the clan, though; not when that would leave behind a deputy who was already distrusted by too many of the clan to run things properly. Confusion wormed its way in her head as she considered the flame-point she-cat. Initially the healer hadn't been sure of Cometstar's choice - she still wasn't sure the marbled tabby couldn't have selected a better candidate - considering how influenced it was by feelings not suitable for a deputy-leader relationship. Titianfoot had potential, though, she just needed to strengthen her own resolve and tap that potential. When she did, that was when Fawndance would find herself able to totally accept the deputy's rank. Until that day, the long-furred cat would have her reserves.
"All cats old enough to catch their own prey gather for a Clan Meeting!"
Her head jerked sharply as the familiar voice's yowl drifted into the limestone crevice. What was this about? The she-cat grunted quietly as she got to her paws, and stepped out of the den. It must be important, whatever the matter, it was hard to see Titianfoot climbing atop the leader's speaking place otherwise. The canopy of trees overhead was fully grown again, and served well to shield the camp from the worst of the sunlight; keeping the temperature tolerable. No cat would be driven to acting hostile from discomforting weather, at least. Pale paws carried her quickly to her place of honor at the base of the speaking-place, an easy swagger in her step giving away none of the distress which she'd felt back in her den. Her face was composed and patient as she looked first at the cats slowly gathering about the perch, and then up at the pale deputy staring out across the clearing calmly. 'Now's your chance to shine, Titianfoot.' Fawndance's gaze hardened as she watched the other she-cat, softening again after a moment. 'Prove you can lead a clan.'
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