déjà vu || {DUNESPLASH}

Pacing felt good at that moment, better than just sitting around awkwardly at the border until some cat wandered by. The constant motion gave him something to do, a job of muscle movement to distract him, keep his thoughts from straying too far and start creeping in to make him second guess. The last time he'd second guessed something the situation had gone down in flames. It didn't matter if he looked like a fool, with his damaged paw giving his stride an odd slope, Duneshade was most interested in just losing himself in the process of taking each step. No chance to think about running off, not even a chance to consider what he'd say if Splashmist happened to patrol this way. 'Maybe I should start... No. He shouldn't be considering what might happen; shouldn't even be getting his hopes up. For all he knew, the she-cat would simply curse his name and then go back to the "shelter" of the forests that comprised Tempestclan territory.

'Just keep on walking, Duneshade. One, two, one, two, and turn, and repeat.' So he settled into the unsettled rhythm, keeping his thoughts set only on putting one paw in front of the other. He failed to notice any passing of time, engrossed as he was in shutting out the world. The leggy warrior also failed to notice the approach of the Tempestclan female he'd been waiting for. Her voice -flat and toneless, but with an underlying venom- jarred him from his motions. Duneshade came to abrupt stop, a slight yelp of surprise escaping before he clenched his teeth and turned with wide eyes to face the silver tabby. His ears pinned flat against his skull by instinct. It had been a while since he'd startled so badly, he having learned to calm his nerves to a point. It was far from pleasant to feel like he had as a fresh apprentice. And of all the ways for Splashmist to see him after weeks, this was one of the more embarrassing. At least it saved them a tragedy of meeting in battle. "I -uh- Splashmist, it's..." He gave an inward growl at his lack of words. Eloquence loved to fail him at the worst of times. Perhaps it would have been useful to think through his words slightly beforehand after all. 'Too late now.'

As the surprise wore off and he registered the query with a clearer head, the young cat felt a slight amount of irritation. He was still on his side of the border, but the she-cat had the gall to ask what he wanted? A sharp retort died in his throat. An argument would certainly lead nowhere good. "Seeking fond memories, I suppose," he finally managed to mutter, a slight shrug accompanying the words. His eyes were fixed on his paws, refusing to meet the other's eyes for fear of seeing a spark of anger and betrayal. "And what about you? Not as if I called you here." His speech was clipped, restrained. The warrior didn't trust himself not to burst out with apologies or some other nonsense.

ooc// THIS is the song I keep thinking of for these two right now.

The tom battled within himself as he tried to force his gaze upwards. He must have looked the greatest coward on the moors, unable to look a former friend in the eye; one foul argument to spoil their relationship, and suddenly he couldn't bring himself to meet that mixed green gaze. It made no sense as to why he refused to look up, maybe he wanted to preserve the last proper memory he had of looking into her eyes, when the deep pools of spring and mint held only warmth for him. He did not want that vision shattered by the anger and spite he was sure would be sparking in her glare now. Even so, he knew it was impossible to simply avoid ever looking up. Slowly he raised his head, and immediately Duneshade wished he'd stayed the coward. He'd always been a fool, hadn't he? Always knowing better than to do something and forcing himself to take on the challenge in hopes of bettering himself from the experience. It was how he'd ended up with his mangled paw, after all, listening to a ridiculous kit dare to "adventure" into an unstable cluster of heavy, fallen branches after a violent summer storm. It had taken one dislodged branch to collapse the entire pile, he'd been lucky that only his paw had caught under one of the limbs and been crushed. "It could have just as easily been your skull or neck, Dunekit." The voice of the medicine cat a few days after the accident rang afresh in the mind. Ever the fool or not, it didn't change the fact that at this moment, Splashmist looked very unhappy to see him. Her gaze constantly flickered from him to the ground and back, too fast for him to catch a proper glimpse. "Of when you caught your first rabbit, I suppose," Duneshade frowned it was hard to tell whether or not the she-cat was being patronizing by ending her sentence the same way he had, or if she was simply more flustered than she let on. Maybe he should just duck out now, say a polite good-bye and go hunting. He'd gotten to see her, after all, and that had been his original goal.

The sable tom shrunk back, unable to avoid flinching, as the silver tabby spat at him with anger, partial tail lashing in a clear sign of her distaste. His last comment hadn't been composed to antagonize the female, the words were the only ones he could think of under pressure, and apparently they were utterly the wrong words to say. It made sense -to a point- that the words were easily misinterpreted. Even so he felt his pelt flush with heat and frustration as, just like that night on the glacier, Splashmist drew the wrong conclusion. A steely look entered his eyes after he first let out a confused stutter, a poor attempt at elaborating; he'd ditched the effort after the proper things to say failed to roll off his tongue even if they formed in his mind. "Now wait just a minute!" He growled sharply, taking a step forward to keep the distance between them even as Splashmist backtracked. He took a sharp breath, trying to take the bite out of his speech. "This is the second time you've drawn a totally incorrect assumption from what I've said. Tell me exactly when, in these last few minutes, I said that I don't want you here." Mis-communication had already ripped them apart, he wasn't about to let it take away any last vestige of friendship that could grow between them. "I just asked what brought you here, and if that offended you, Splashmist, well I apologize thoroughly; however, your own greeting wasn't exactly welcoming now was it?"

Duneshade frowned, hardly caring what the silver tabby standing angrily before him made out of the motion. This conversation had already gone downhill - more than downhill; a burrowing mole would have trouble finding them the meeting had crashed so badly. He should just leave. Of course thinking something was almost always easier than executing the idea, and this case was no exception to that. The sable cat had never much thought of himself as the hard-headed sort, but then again he'd never considered himself as a rash warrior either. He seemed to be contradicting the views about his person quite a lot lately, hadn't he? First deciding to shirk camp duties and sneak out when he claimed wishing to be a loyal Zephyrclan cat, not to mention having been anything but compliant to the other warriors as of late. Then there was his random decision to head out towards that little strip of unclaimed land and contemplating crossing the Tempestclan border. And now he stood, glaring coldly back at a she-cat whom he loved like no other, refusing to simply back down and apologize when that might correct all their problems. 'Then again, it might not. So why take the chance of making a fool of yourself?'

He scoffed at the petite she-cat's gall, was she really going to play this game? It was starting to look as though Splashmist wanted to argue and be as closed off as possible. "You never answered my question," he mewed in a low tone, green-yellow eyes growing dark and brooding. "You're the one who ran off making wild assumptions that I wanted nothing to do with you anymore." He wasn't sure what made him keep going, but soon enough the words flowed easily enough. The scene back on the glacier, with snow crunching beneath his paws and the cold matching the loneliness he felt, had been largely taboo in his mind for the past few weeks. Once he tapped the memory, though, the flow was hard to stop. "I mean, it's not like I went up and said 'Hey Splashmist, this is getting a bit too involved for me, so I'm gonna go ahead and say bye in an indirect fashion.' I was scared, Splash. Scared, confused, and I didn't know what to do when I knew we were putting each other at risk. Doesn't mean I still don't love you!" He snapped his teeth together in irritation, the fangs clacking together painfully as his clenched them too hard. Then the tom flinched, his mind playing back the words which had quite suddenly slipped from his maw. He hadn't meant for things to be layed out so bluntly, but there it was. The ribbing had been too much, the accusations rattling quickly from Splashmist had pushed just a bit too far. "For Starclan's sake, I would never try to manipulate you; although if that's what you really think of me then maybe I have the wrong idea about you." There, now all his feelings had been set out for the tabby warrior to hear. Part of him felt free, uplifted and unburdened from loosing the pent up thoughts. Even so, he also felt embarrassed, though he couldn't tell why. His discomfort showed, though, in the way he suddenly broke free of her green-eyed glare and shuffled his paws, tail flicking back and forth with a mind of its own. Fidgeting might not look particularly graceful, but it was that or turn and run just like she had before hearing everything out.

The scrawny, leaf-bare lean warrior flinched as the she-cat whirled about violently to face him, a blaze of despise lighting her green eyes. He could feel his paws instinctively making him back away about a tail-length, and sink deeper into the comforting scent of his own territory. The smell heather and bracken and peat in his nose helped to give him a false sense of security, although he knew the moors would do little to protect him if Splashmist chose to lash out. True, he could easily run if the situation called for it, his bad paw would hardly hinder him against a cat raised to creep slowly, carefully, through underbrush; even so it would feel wrong to run away from the silver tabby. It would be the breaking point of their already cracking relationship. Still, he didn't like conflict, he hated it with every fiber of his being, and there was no way he would strike back if the Tempestclan she-cat chose to attack. The argument was bad enough. The elders and wiser warriors in Zephyrclan had claimed it was good to air grievances, it made friends stronger in the end; as far as Duneshade could tell, their words were just making things grow progressively worse. "Why are you so afraid to admit it, then, Dune? If you cared about me, then why couldn't you have just said it!?" The tom hissed in frustration, ears pinning flat against his skull. The entire injustice of the whole situation was only serving to irritate him. "Why should I have n-needed to 'admit' anything?" He growled, voice rumbling low in his throat. He was working hard not to raise his voice to a shout, the last thing they needed was an audience drawn in by yowls and yells. As it were, he was slowly losing grip on any last shreds of composure, as was made apparent by the steady increase of stuttering making its way into his words. He'd shaken stumbling in his sentences before he'd finished his apprenticeship, but he still fell back on old habits when stressed.

"Well then don't apologize! J-just realize that I've never not loved you, Splashmist," he took a deep breath, forcing himself to relax and think even as the she-cat began to pace and then refuse to even give him a cursory glance. He felt fear coursing through his body at the thought of life without the she-cat. There was a flickering hope that the other was merely bluffing, taking things and blowing them out of proportion as a way to vent all her anger, but a creeping sense of dread told the sable cat otherwise. He'd tried to forget Splashmist, tried to move on and be satisfied with life without her, like he'd been before they'd met that fateful night when they were both apprentices. It hadn't worked. He'd gotten a taste of what is was like to be truly accepted for who he was. The warrior could never be happy living amongst cats that looked down on him for his peaceful nature and never having anyone to turn to. "Splash," he began, voice suddenly low and quiet, strained even. "I'm sorry then, for hurting you and not realizing it. I would go to Starclan and back to be with you, but-but..." He trailed off with a shake of his dark-furred head. "I don't know what it'll take to convince you, since it's obvious words just won't do." He mewed wearily.

The tom let his head fall slightly, so that he was even with the shorter she-cat in height. He didn't want more barriers putting distance between them. The walls due to their being from different clans and the frayed nerves from their last argument were more than enough for the Zephyrclan warrior. He leaned forward for a few seconds, muscles straining as he fought the urge to cross the poorly marked border, then let his shoulders relax, returning to his earlier position as the she-cat spoke out in anger again. "Because you're so afraid to see what we had-have! Are we just friends?" He tried to speak, but found himself able only to shake his head in disbelief. Still, the thoughts rang out loud in his head. 'N-no, we're not just friends. Neither of us would have done all the stupid things we had otherwise.' Duneshade still could not comprehend why the silver-gray tabby was being so stubborn, so immovable. He'd apologized, wasn't that enough? Before he'd been the one that was hesitant, afraid, but now it seemed their roles were reversed.

The sable cat gave another mute shake of his head, tail drooping as Splashmist's words grew grimmer even as she stepped forward to close the tiniest bit of the few fox-lengths between them. He should be happy that they were still speaking, at least. That was something. If they'd truly rejected each other, well something told him they wouldn't still be standing here, where they'd "happened" upon each other. 'Are things coming full circle?' His mind was wandering, trying to avoid the despair at the thought of cutting all ties with the she-cat. 'Things started on this territory, are they going to end here too?' Still, the tom perked up hopefully as she continued to speak. "I thought we had something that was going to last. And then it all just fell apart. Where do we go from here, Duneshade? Even... No, it would never work out. There's no way that we could ever be more than friends, from our clans." He took his own step forward, careful not to rest his weight on the bad paw. "Even what?" he asked, clinging to the thought which Splashmist had cut off and leaning closer again. "You didn't used to think that way." His brow furrowed, yellow-green eyes narrowing to slits. "You, a medicine cat? And then what, torture all the toms with beauty they could never have?" The words, more light-hearted than anything else he'd said beforehand, slipped out before he properly thought things over.

The tom frown thoughfully, head twisting slightly to one side as the conversation -luckily- shifted away from them for even a moment. The names had sounded vaguely familiar, although he couldn't immediately dredge up any memories accompanying them. He blinked, recalling the name of the Celestialclan leader before Hallowstar. The deputy and leader that had run away together and abandoned their clan. For a time the gossip had drifted through Zephyrclan, but Paintedwing -star at the time- had been swift to quash any chatter on the subject. His jaws parted to speak, but clenched together without his saying anything as he thought better of any implications behind his words. Why mention this now, though? Duneshade kept silent, still unsure as the Tempestclan warrior continued to speak what message she was hoping to get across by running off on what seemed, to him, to be a tangent. She wasn't much of a rambler, at least she hadn't been before, so there had to be something, some hint Splashmist was trying to drop.

Or Duneshade was just tricking himself for his own sake. Hopefully not.

"I admit, things are harder now, what with both of us being warriors and loyalties throwing a wrench into everything, but it'll work. Somehow..." he murmured, eyes growing distant for a moment as he recalled the fond memories of their earliest meetings. The leggy cat fought the impulse to step forward and nuzzle the she-cat. As much as he wanted to, it might be too much, too soon. Something like this couldn't just be solved with an embrace and kind words.The tom shook out his fur, suddenly feeling cold, though no biting breeze had sprung up from the lakeshore. As the she-cat shifted so that they were finally eye-to-eye, the tom found himself close to a purr, although the would-be rumble died deep in his throat as Splashmist began to speak to him in an urgent whisper. "I think someone's coming." 'Starclan damn it all, just a few more minutes!' The tom shot a quick look over his shoulders, as though he would spot the nearby cats already charging towards him with accusing glares in their eyes. "I can't - We have to meet again," a note of desperation crept into his words as he faced the tabby. "Where, when? I mean, i-if you agree anyways." He hoped she'd say yes, hoped he'd gotten the right message from her.